#finding the pictures was weirdly hard tho

[thecustomcosplayed]

Chapa from Danger Force text posts

[sevenfactorial]

Here's info about the competition (actually just announced earlier this month):

The competition seems to be exclusively on the software/algorithms side. The scans of the test pieces have been done and ink has been detected. So how does one turn that mess of data into letters? Hopefully we'll know soon.

I think it also has the most up to date (and aggregated) info I could find on how it's been going, so it's also a reasonable place to read up on the long long journey so far.

The Herculaneum papyri are more than 1800 papyri that were carbonized by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius (79 CE), constituting the only surviving library from antiquity that exists in its entirety. Now using new x-ray technique, these scrolls are being read for the first time in millennia

[mysicklove]

CW: reader sucking nanamis dick lol, me playing up nanamis old manness bc i am picturing him as a middle aged man, no power dynamics, nanami cums on your face n realizes he may have a kink, reader is ":3" coded, unedited for now bc i need sleep

a/n: wrote this cause im down bad. not written well tho LOL

"Are you sure you like this? I dont want your jaw to hurt..." Nanami questions, furrowed browed as he gently traces the skin near your temple.

You were kneeling in front of him, hands placed on his thighs and grinning at him. "I want to. I really, really want to. Been thinking about it all day."

"You are quite eager."

"Arent you?" Your eyes trail to cock in your hand, completely hard and flushing a shade of red. His work attire was still on, and you just unbuttoned his pants enough so that only his dick was free. You had a thing for the work attire - you couldnt help it, he looked incredibly good in a suit.

In return, Nanami just rubs at his mouth, not denying it. Then he pets your hair, settling in his chair. "Okay, but I wont be mad if you grow uncomfortable."

You rolls your eyes at him, pressing your cheek against his cock. "You coddle me too much. I will not die from sucking dick, Kento."

He stays quiet at this, just silently brushing your hair back into his palms, holding it away from your face. It was polite, all things considering. You smile at him, while your tongue drags from the base of his cock to the tip.

You continue to prep yourself, licking and gently kissing the shaft, while Nanami watches in silence. Then, you put your mouth over him and begin to suckle the tip. A sigh is let out from the man, and he resists the urge to shut his eyes, wanting to watch the lewd sight.

Your head find a steady motion - bobbing up and down until you gag and pull off. He pretends that the sound doesnt turn him on, feeling bad that something uncomfortable for you sends blood rushing to his groin.

When you pull away, slightly panting, he rubs at your lips, now coated in saliva. "Are you okay?"

"You're doing it again, Kento. I am not a child - I've sucked other mens dick before."

He blinks at this, before frowning and forcing you back on his cock by your hair. But, when he heard your giggles from below, he realized quickly that you only said that to tease him. He sighs at that, shaking his head. "Do you like making me upset?"

You hum around his cock, letting drool purposefully fall from your mouth and down till it reached his balls - it was always bettter when it was sloppier, or so you have heard. But, you pull away quickly to answer him, tilting your head to the side so that you can continue to lick his shaft.

"Kinda fun to - you get this look in your eyes. Its weirdly sexy seeing you mad."

His non dominant hand goes back to caressing the skin on your face and his eyes soften. "I would never actually be mad at you."

You make eyecontact with him as you stick your tongue out and swirl it around the redden tip, ignoring the salty taste of pre. Then you give the head another kiss, pressing your nose against it. "I know. You're too soft around me. Its cute, I dont mind it."

"I'm glad," he breathes, and then he pauses, gulping, and looking away, "Then if you dont mind, can you go a little farther down? If its not too uncomfortable, of course."

You obey with little hesistation, mouth coming closer to the dark patch of hair on his lower abdomen. This time he groans out, and cant help but shut his eyes at the warm feeling of your throat. You try your best to focus, but seeing your lovers face contort with pleasure was too pretty to not watch.

His hips move from his chair, slightly bucking into your mouth like he couldnt control them. It makes a lewd noise in the back of your throat, and he groans hearing it. You continue your movements, and with each moment, his cock gets wetter from the amount of saliva coated on it.

Large, callused finger tips run over your neck, feeling the way his dick creates a small bulge, and he lets out a shaky breathe. "Fuck. Wow, you are something. Doing so well, thank you, thank you, fuck."

Tears are beggining to prick at your eyes from the lack of air, but still you try your best to nod at him, even if the action sends him groaning out again.

He was growing overheated from the whole thing, and you watch as he removes his tie and unbuttons the top part of his shirt. The sight makes you slightly moan, and it sends a vibration up Nanami's spine.

When you pull away for another breathe, he lets out a noise close to a whine, and you hold back a chuckle. "Looks whose the one eager now." You tease, and his cheeks pinken slightly as he looks away.

"You really treat me so well."

"You think I am good at sucking dick?"

A lewd way to put it, and Nanami wouldnt phrase it like that, but alas, he nods his head, before guiding you back onto his cock. You in return laugh, and immediately go back to work.

With each bob of your head, he gets more into it, now slightly pushing you down farther by your hair. You don't mind it, and Nanami begins to pant from the pleasure, deep and breathlessly. The sound only spurs you on.

It doesnt take much longer for his abdomen to tighten up, and the feeling of his orgasm to approach. You could tell he was close to coming, even without a warning from the way his grunts seem to grow louder. So you continue your pace, trying your best to hold out without a breathe until he cums down your throat.

But, to much of your suprise, he pulls you off from him by your hair. You try to protest, wanting him to cum in your mouth, but he simply grabs at his cock with his other hand and pumps it a couple of times before aiming it at your face.

Cum shoots out of the wet head, and you are forced to shut one of your eyes as the white liquid lands on your upper cheek and eyelid. The rest lands on a multitude of places on your face, causing you to squint your one opened eye. He groans the entirity of it, and so you let him cum all over your face, finding the noise cute.

But when he is done, you simply wipe off your eyes, leaving the rest for now, and blink up at him with a small frown. "You know it would be alot cleaner if you would have came down my throat."

Nanami just stares at you, eyes scanning your face. Then, you notice the tint of red that danced on his cheeks and ears. Your face lights up at the realization. "I knew you had some sort of kink. You're not as vanilla as I thought, Kento! Who would have thought cumming on my face would do it for you."

"You just look...so pretty like this." A laugh falls from your lips, as your eyes travel back to his cock that was beginning to harden again. Now, it was time for the real deal - you almost squeal in excitement as you drag him to the bedroom.

[dykeomania]

PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..

this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,

(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)

so, i have this .. picture.

of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.

she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.

at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.

if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.

you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.

something happens, though.

where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --

"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."

-- silently beginning to whimper.

the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...

it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.

hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.

it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"

what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.

you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--

"don't cum."

she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"

you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."

the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.

"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.

"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"

cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"

"three..."

ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.

"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."

she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"

you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.

she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.

"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"

there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.

"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"

"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"

she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,

"o-one--"

until you let her.

the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.

hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.

she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.

as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.

"haze?"

there's a hum, somewhere.

"did that really feel that good?"

hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.

"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."

the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.

"that's my girl."

[erens-heart]

detailed fluffy/smutty headcannons! draco malfoy as your boyfriend.

i’m writing this as a continuation of “ive got my eye on you”, and sooort of requested by @dolcid. i’ll hopefully write a proper part two soon but for now here are some detailed, fluffy bf!draco headcannons to keep you satisfied. ive thrown some smuttys hcs in as well, so you really get the picture (i love reading headcannons so i hope you’re as pleased with this as i am!) <3

WARNINGS! SEXUAL CONTENT. SMUT. 18+

malfoy is a really good boyfriend. you’ve never had one before though so you can’t compare him to much :(

the way he confessed to you was really impressive though (and really turned you on! drunk kisses > )

he gets better and better at kissing every time you do it. he’s not very emotional but he’s passionate, if that makes sense?

when you’re kissing he doesnt administer alot of touch himself but he loves it when you touch him. he lets you run your hands all over his chest, it makes him groan.

when he DOES touch you, its usually your thighs.

despite all the kissing, he’s actually very cautious about going any further with you, because he knows you’ve never been fucked by anyone before. in the first few weeks, he sticks to hot makeout sessions with you.

he used to tease you for being ugly when you disliked eachother, he never meant it, by the damage it did to your confidence meant you never pursued a relationship before him so you’re really a virgin in every aspect. (slay tho <3)

draco doesn’t do dates really. he likes to keep you all to himself, he’s selfish like that. so he usually invites you to the slytherin common room, and takes you up to his dorm.

he banishes the goons from the dorm to spend time with you because he knows they make you uneasy.

he really cherishes quality time over anything, that’s his love language. he doesn’t have to be kissing you the whole time, sitting beside you whilst you read is enough for him. he’s enamoured with your presence.

he’s always been enamoured with your presence, even when he pretended to hate you.

draco is quite a grumpy boyfriend. not mean. just moody. he doesnt like other people. he especially doesnt like harry potter. or anything about any of the gryffindors. you pay it no heed, you just find it cute.

he takes things further one day and you let him eat you out. he doesnt do this alot. hes mostly a receiver.

he’s really dirty when he wants to be, its the fault of his smirk, it makes him look even dirtier.

draco is heavy on the dirty talking and teasing, after all your relationship begun because of his unremitting teasing.

so when he’s licking your pussy, he’s doing it whilst smirking and cooing annoyingly because of how red your face is going.

he gets really hard because its his first time going further than kissing with you. youre the first girl that hes had feelings for as well, so it makes it unreal for him. he gets so hard he has to ask you to suck his dick.

he doesnt beg you though! his voice is cool and nonchalant like it always is.

instead of cumming in your mouth, he comes all over your pussy because he likes how it looks.

when you two finish, he isn’t one for cuddling, but he lets you lay beside him in his arm, and fall asleep on his chest.

when its time for you to go back to your dorm, he folds all of your things up for you, stacks all of your books. hes weirdly a neat-freak.

when you aren’t hanging out on his bed, you’re watching his quidditch games.

one day he has a bad fall and ends up in the hospital wing, with his arm in a sling. typical draco!

he’s a hypochondriac lol!

you drop your studies to sit with him. he grumbles profusely about the pain and the sling. he loves complaining.

you shut him up by kissing him, which makes his expression harden because you two werent public about your relationship yet. but you dont care.

when he’s injured in hospital he lets you groom his hair for him. he cares alot about his appearance. its a frequent occurance. because hes not one for skinship its how you feel close to him.

he warms to the idea of cuddling a bit, but when he does he prefers to be spooned rather than spoon you. and he always does it under the blanket so no one could accidentally see.

he’s a tall, protective boyfriend. he usually wards “threats” away with rude, witty comments, or dirty looks. he doesnt care. you’re his.

when you’re in public, he stands behind you w his hands on your shoulders so he can protect you at all times if he needs to.

he gradually becomes more comfortable being emotional around you. not emotional as in sad or cloying but. he smiles more. not big cheeky smiles, but small ones you notice when you catch him off gaurd.

he kisses you alot before bed, you start sleeping over in his bed in the slytherin dorm, you get away with it because he becomes a prefect.

he kisses the top of your head and your hands/fingertips the most. you’re precious to him, that’s how he conveys it.

after a few weeks of sleeping in his bed, he makes the ultimate move on you and fucks you for the first time. “making-love” is a bit cringe in dracos opinion, he is draco malfoy after all. but it isnt senseless fucking.

he loves the power imbalance of you getting onto your knees for him and sucking his dick. like i said, hes a receiver!

he puts his big, pale hand in your hair and bounces it harshly on his dick. he doesnt make you choke on it though, he doesnt like that.

he actually doesnt fuck you in his bed, the first time. you both get so carried away that he takes you against the wall. from all angles. behind. from the front.

it’s rough, desperate fucking. youve never been fucked before. its such a new and overwhelming feeling. youve been pining for eachother for so long.

he cums all over your pretty pussy again, but not inside it (obvs) and admires it for a while whilst catching his breath.

you start crying after! it was such an intense experience that you get a bit… worried? overwhelmed? it’s not serious crying but you need some softness.

draco isn’t always the best person to rely on for softness but he knows that you need it right now after the way he’d just fucked you.

you cuddle properly for the first time. all naked and sticky (draco HATES that, but he doesnt mind tonight bc its you) and he kisses your head over and over.

hes not big on aftercare usually. but hes patient with you tonight. he lets you sleep off the feeling, and wear his big, boxy school shirt whilst you do so. it smells of him. you love it.

you love him.

he loves you too, hes thinking.

but you don’t tell each other just yet ;)

[slashers-sister]

(This is something that happened, so I'm making a story, just imagine phones exist back then for the sake of this story)

Imagine you are on your phone on Pinterest, you found it fun, why?

Organizing, making cute and or deranged unsettling (Possibly ones about cannibalism people think are "AeStHeTiC!1! 😍🤪", you always did question which ones where and weren't actual cannibals..) moodboards.

Look, ya are quite lonely, and your brothers aren't always fun.

Actually you're in the barn hiding from your chores at the moment. You really didn't want to clean up all those knives :(

You like to keep random things, your room is FULL of stuff you've found around the farm. You got a lot of your personality from the twins, and Bubba. You spent most of your time with them.

..or stuff you've taken but that's besides the point!

You had bottles from 1947, your oldest glass bottle is from 1937! You also have old pins, which you and your brother Chop-Top do have a rivalry over who has the coolest.. Nubbins is the mediator, saying usually something along the lines of "Ya both tied, they are both equally cool." In reality he just can't choose who he likes more sometimes

You were on your phone, you heard Drayton calling. Oh no. You put it on a hay bale and immediately jump down from the hayloft. It's.. big but you fuck around and find out too often and have quite a high pain and heat tolerance.

"(Insert your full legal name), Get yer ass out here!"

To say your stomach filled with fear was definitely.. an understatement.

What did you do to piss off Drayton now? No idea but you went to go see what he needed. Hoping you weren't in for a beating on the head or back, why? He didn't whip you, he smacked your back so hard with a broom you heard a CRUNCH. Yes, you were fine. Well mostly, definitely traumatized a wee bit.

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, guess who also had chores in the barn! The twins!

Guess who didn't lock, sign out, and brick their phone? You!!

Immediately they are nosey. What's their precious little-

..They didn't find porn, or anything like that.

Nah they just found the Spotify account, the notepad, which you definitely had a few issues. Specifically anger issues, you had some notepads you had to take 5 minutes to scroll through bottom too.

Your Pinterest was full of weird stuff. Odd animal pictures that look weirdly funny and distorted? Funny lil cannibalism boards, memes, a mountain of memes because you are either chronically yeehaw or chronically online, take that as you will.

They found a few moodboards about them, about our(? Your? Their? Ya get the point) Brother Drayton. Honestly it matched his personality.

Bubba's was cute and full of taxidermied roadkill, you had made both of theirs earlier, and rearranged it perfectly.

Then they found theirs.

When Nubbins saw it, you even had a picture of his knife and camera almost exactly, how cool!

You had Chop-Top's favorite band, maybe you do listen!

Then Chop-Top started hysterically laughing.

"W-w-what? What's s-so funny?"

Chop-Top gladly pointed it out.

Nubbins couldn't tell if he should laugh, cry, be offended, or plot your murder.

Meanwhile Chop-Top is dying (almost literally) of laughter. "That is the funniest shit I've ever seen her do, that takes the meat!" (You guys often don't say "take the cake", but "take the meat" as a joke.)

Fun fact, nobody actually went to school.. you guys were all homeschooled by big bro dray.

Chop-Top calmed his twin down after a while, still looking through the board, you had found many things you thought they would, it did like. You got almost everything right.

They are definitely plotting how they both can get you back tho.

——————————————————————————

No, Drayton wasn't too pissed off. You just forgot to tell him where you were, and scared the ever-loving shit out of this poor man.

Once you got back to the barn, you climbed to the hayloft.. and noticed your phone was moved. You immediately went through it, but surprisingly nothing was out of the ordinary.. except your notepad had a new note.

"you'll end up worse<3"

Cheeky little bi-

You silently live in fear waiting for what prank they'll do next :(

[moonspirit]

Hello moonie!!!! First of all happy international holiday (armins birthday duh) hope you’ll pass an amazing day of celebrations with fireworks and banquets🙀💫

Second, I just saw your post about kald inspo pics, do you have some also for the ambassadors’ house? Like outside and inside? I kind of have a hard time imagining what it looks like and how the rooms are disposed (not your fault ofc, i am the slow one XD)

I saw how Anna brought to life Annie’s and Armin’s rooms tho, they were so cute!!! Amazing work!!!

Heeelllo Gaia! I'm very sorry for getting around to this late (2 weeks, honestly 🥲...). I hope you had a good International Armin day too T_Tb

Anyway, thank you so much for asking (and I hope you still wanna know ahaha xD)! Imagining the house Armin & Co live in is one of my favourite things because a lot of VBEOW honestly started with the living spaces. At the same time, weirdly enough, I don't have solid inspiration pictures that I can point to and say "aha, this is what the living room looks like!" xD Much of the visual development lives in my head.

Still, I managed to find some similar ones to help you!

To start with, Anna's beautiful depiction of Aruani's rooms continue to make me want to crawl into the screen to live there, and I'm glad you like it too T^T She deserves all the love and praise for it!

Secondly, I once used Kimi no Nawa stills as a kind of promo thing because a particular shot of the Miyamizu house reminded me very strongly of the Ambassador's house in VBEOW and, well, I can't seem to find the original post but here they are:

Moving on to the interiors though, I always try to describe them to the best of my abilities (sometimes I also hold back because I'm scared of saying "cozy staircase" 3 times in a chapter 🥲 writing woes), but here are some photos I found that might help you imagine them better.

I guess the foyer could look something like this. Though these photos are very modern, so you should just take them and mentally translate them into constructions that are more 1930s appropriate xD Oh and there should be a shoe cabinet somewhere to the right.

The corridors on the boys' and girls' floors would be something like these:

Now, funnily enough, I have several photos of pretty kitchens saved on my phone and I think it's because I just really love kitchens? xD None of these are time-appropriate(?), but they have very Kald-appropriate beautiful views, so you can imagine them being vintage:

(very important author's note: how the kitchen looks is very critical to any story because the kitchen is where they nasty fu-- *gets shot*)

Some other photos I found that could be the living room with the fireplace, the dining room (it has a big window so that's important), and a random bedroom?

Keep in mind tho - it's all wood!

The house is quite *big* because as we learn, it was originally a mansion put to use as a guest-house for government officials. However it remains empty for a long, long time until Aruani & Co arrive from Fort Salta and are given it as a sort of "boarding house" to live in.

VBEOW is a story of how they make it a home, along with the land of Kald :3

Anyway thank you for the interest Gaia, I hope this helped you a bit!

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it

[chronic-ghost]

alright I can’t wait because this

The white bathroom door.

This is the moment he realizes that blank door will haunt his nightmares for years to come. What he could have found on the other side. What he nearly does. 

FUCJING DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭😭

Like holy crap this chapter was so so amazing and I think despite the absolute heartbreak, it’s my favourite so far! Just like the emotions??? The intimacy at the beginning and then then everything turning into a war zone.

And then my heart literally sank when Oliver was there and saying all that shit. Oh my god.

Firstly tho, god damn you Chloe. Like, I don’t believe her! If she is pregnant then it’s probably not Dieters… (I hope lmao) or she’s lying because she knows he’s going to leave her otherwise. But girl, you’re not having his baby!! 😂 I can’t wait to see what is actually true and to hate Chloe even more lmao!

But their fight 😭😭😭 so much emotion and aggressions and sadness and hurt. All the freaking hurt in that room in that moment 🥺🥺 my poor little heart!! Poor Natalies heart too because I’m sure you could probably actually hear it break.

But I’m so glad Dieter could call Heidi and she came and helped him 😭😭 and he’s gonna go to rehab for himself and get better for himself and be happy for himself 🥺 and he was nominated for an Oscar!!! 😭 I’m sure it will be such a tough and hard road but I’m glad he has someone there for him!

And Natalie.. 😭😭 I had a feeling something like this was eventually going to happen and while I hate to say it.. maybe it had to. For her to also realise that this isn’t the life she wants to have. That she deserves a better one, a happier one! I’m just so glad she made it through because you could’ve absolutely shredded our hearts right there lmao!

But the way you wrote that, the way Dieter found her. It really was like I could feel his desperation and fear, got my hands all sweaty! It was written so so beautifully and so sad and I legit wanted to cry a bit.

Fuck Oliver obviously, hope you rot in jail 💕

(btw I’m watching the new season only murders in the building and for some reason I always picture that Oliver and it’s absolutely fucking hilarious 😂)

Just.. Aaaaaaah!!! Like this was such a sad and heart breaking chapter but I also feel weirdly hopeful? Like shit went down. Absolute rock bottom and it sucks! But now the only way left is up again, working on rebuilding the rubble and maybe it’s gonna be so so much better then.

Also Natalie finally said she loves him 🥺 I know they’re gonna find their way back to each other eventually and hopefully have their issues and problems worked out so they can finally get to know who the other person really is and love each other even more and better than before 🥺

AND RECOVERY ROAD GOT AN OSCAR! 🎉

Man this was just an amazing chapter and I am so soft for these 2 characters and I just.. sigh

You’re such a brilliant freaking writer! Thank you for sharing 🥺 (also I wasn’t sure where to send this ask so I hope here is okay but if not then the next one will be to your Pedro blog!!! :))))

im having kind of a rough day and this . . . ooof, this got me real good.

aldjfalkadsf i would never do anything to actually hurt Natalie forever, she's come too far. fanfiction is supposed to be fun and i am too much of a wimp to really kill a character forever -- or do something that prevents the blorbos from being happy in the end. this is the lowest the fic will ever get, so you're right! the only way forward is up!

I've been writing fic for years and the scene in the hospital is the only time i've actually made myself tear up. i think it's easy to forget that natalie is 13 years younger than dieter and just by the nature of time itself, has more life experience than her. she's still young herself and trying to figure it all out. my heart just broke for her :(

I LOVE only murders in the building and that oliver would be horrified and disgusted by this oliver! Martin Short is absolutely hilarious in that role -- i need to catch up on the next season!

thank you so much for all your words and support. it really truly honestly means the world to me! i was really, really hoping you'd like this chapter and i can't wait to hear what you think of the next one.

You make all of this very worthwhile!

[kleinstar]

how did u get into this series? 👀 what's ur fav dynamic, and your fav character (probably apart from eiden)?

ASK ME ABOUT NU:C (NOT ACCEPTING)

Let's see... I'm like half convinced I saw a picture of Edmonds really stupid uniform (sorry nuc i cant take it seriously) in twitter which is when I took notice of it but I dont think I downloaded the game then... I faintly recall being like oh he which was Olivine like 'oh he looks nice' but didn't expect to really get into the game at all but boom Eiden drew me in pretty much immediately lol. Liked him from the start. Storywise speaking i think first chapter that i liked a lot was kuya's but i think the story didn't grab me until Garu's weirdly enough bc the dude's my least fave lol, Dante's chapter even more though.

Faves....Aside Eiden, Rei was just introduced but he's already a fave of mine, the pretty aloof personality (for now! he only met Eiden) paired with obvious underlying issues (reasons still a mystery) that he's got. Has a bit complicated relationship with sex where he seems to treat it more as a tool to achieve goals (get magical items etc, study essense... ) than something fun (to the point where he'll even go through unpleasant stuff for it) where its easy to see how Eiden will fit into that ! He's like this ....researcher type but his personality is very different from the usual archetype s so it's interesting for sure - ALSO FATHER IS REALLY CUTE It's still pretty interesting to see how it'll develop, I'm glad the main story's taking it's time with him bc i think nuc does a bit better when it slows things down rather than crams it up into one thing for sure. 'I've seen people complain about nothing happening these chapters but its like...time, atmosphere settling, wish the game did this more often. It doesn't work with events bc limited story space and all. His intimacy stories also expand on him pretty nice.

Kuya is other fave because apparently i like resident bastards but yeah, mr-im bored bc long life which is also why it's hard to open up. Youkai and humans also have a difficult relationship, have had for a long time so Eiden's attempts in patching things up piss him off a lot but also bring him that element of surprise he so enjoys when things dont go the way he expects - hope makes it painful when it goes wrong after all. I also like his dynamic with Eiden a lot - which is really just Eiden kinda trying to please him with best of his efforts. He finds it amusing ofc and with recent developments he even seems to like it when eiden just does his own thing - not that he'd admit - eiden 'owes' him so much now since he's let him close. He calls him a toy, it's amusing how he tries so much and brings so many surprises right.... It's cute dynamic.

Those two are pretty much faves but dynamicwise close come Dante, Quincy Olivine and Blade tho! I'm not running introduction on them though.

Dynamicswise... With Dante it's that fun bickering with Eiden but also the differences that flare things up, finding bridge between them and so on, I love his Kleinmas event intimacy story a lot. Also Olivine's got that fun serene horny vibes but also really calm, cute and sincere moments that also feel really fresh, I also love how he's just " : )" when eiden just horny stuff. It's actually cute.

Quincy too though, similar as with Kuya but also differently he's grown tired of the long life he's had but Eiden's opened him up and stuff. Also different (but not completely different) to kuya he likes when Eiden does his own thing, likes it when he's selfish too which balances out great since Eiden's very people pleaser type so that nice chill moments just work out very cute too.

I also like Eiden's dynamics with morvay though lmao fellow hornies exchanging tips with each other and stuff, it's fun.

[hausofmamadas]

WOOF, again another super overdue reblog but well worth the wait bc this shit is actually golden/magic/fire in a way I totally didn’t expect from this pair specifically??? So, fucj it, let’s get into it:

═

✷ A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

SKSKSKS already dying at the way that Pacho just haunts Amado’s entire psyche

✷ Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from.

I love love love this so much bc idk what it is about Mayo, possibly just the fact that he literally gives not a single fuck, but I don’t have to suspend a n y disbelief at the prospect that he’s touched tips with a gentleman, in his day, a time or two mayhaps this is why Benjamin was making eyes at him all flirty at Dina’s wedding hmmm??? Someday I will write that fic.... but I digress

✷ “How did you sleep?” That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

NOSKSK I SLAPPED MY KEYBOARD SO HARD JUST NOW, i knocked my laptop off my lap bc Amado’s literally like, “sorry, did you mean, how did I 😴😴sleep? Or how did I 🥴🥴 sleeeeep?”

✷ But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.” He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

Idk why but something about Mayo being like calculated but flirty, is like a) such a hot flex and I can’t even articulate why, and b) such a mirror for Pacho bc I feel like even though they’re VERY different people, that meticulousness is something Mayo would share with Pacho y’know, like they’re both crafty mfs in business and love

✷ Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

UGH OKYASISJSKSKSJSJJSSN ALREAYD KNOW IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THIS FOR THE REST OF THIS REBLOG BUT THE LONGING AND THE LOSS HERE, ALL THE ALLUSIONS TO PACHO ARE REALLY JUST— LIKE HE CANT ESCAPE IT, HE CANT HELP MAKING COMPARISONS I TRULY JUST AKSOSIW/&/8:2!

✷ In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

NO FORREAAAALLL THO I remmeber feeling the exact same way watching S3 and being so bummed for Amado at Pacho not wanting to go out and celebrate the big win and being so disappointed that like his homie was kinda checked out of the business by that point. It was such a bummer to watch and I’m not even in love with the man sksks maybe that’s why Amado latched onto May— er uhhhh, I mean Marta. Sorry getting my fic and my canon mixed up, which is like pretty par for the course with your writing

✷ This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

When I tell you I snorted so loud at this, like so loud my neighbors probably heard it bc how many times have we talked in the Discord about the glossy on-screen vs smelly reality of how much everyone fucking chain-smokes on this show sksk

✷ That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic. “Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

PFFFFFFFFTTTTJDJDJDJD NO BC IM NOW JUST PICTURING ALBERTO GUERRA AS A REGULAR FUCKIN JACK SPARROW and like I gotta be honest, the picture I have in my head is .... like I really don’t hate it? Like I weirdly feel like he could rock it being a sexy asf pirate?

✷ Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face...

WOOOOOF god, I love this detail so much, SO gotdamn cinematic. I can see it as though I filmed it myself. Just *muah* fucking excellent prose

✷ Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK NO BUT I SWEAR I DIDNT READ THIS AHEAD OF TIME, I almost always comment as I read, so the fact that literallyskkdkdkdkee Amado and I had the same exact thought of like “wow, Mayo as a pirate, what a hilarious thou— well..... y’know actually.... the more I think about it, like oh actually I’d still totally hop on that dick this is kind of working for me”

✷ But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason. It makes him want to smile too.

*bangs gavel repeatedly despite the fact that the courtroom is empty except for 2 sleeping cats* OH SURE???????? LIKE SMILING DOESNT NEED A REASON ???????? SSKOSSKWJWHAODOFJWBWOQOWJQJWJ GOTDAMN imjustsofuckingsorry but i am— that is such a fucking BANGER of a line. And here, yes. You guessed it folks, we come to a scrrrrreeeeeeeching halt at our first stop, one I like to call, “So Fucking Good, I’m Mad I Didn’t Write It/My Friends Are All So Talented”

✷ There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

I love how pencilling in a date? fuck sesh? is contingent on like whether or not other cartels are actively trying to blow them to pieces or burn their boats down, or turn them into swish cheese with a machine gun as they’re trying to make their escape boarding a plane on a private runway. And like I can tooooootally relate me, who can’t be bothered to get together with a friend for coffee if I didn’t get enough sleep the night before so yeah, pretty much exactly the same Fuckships? Relationships really are hard work.

✷ One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

PFFFFFFTTTTTTJDJDJD not me talking about relationships being hard work and Amado seconds later just, “y’know Mayo, why am I always the one who comes to you. Like are you even committed to this fuckship relationship? Bc I really don’t see you putting in the work.”

✷ Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.”

NOOOOO I AMSKSKSKS S DYING bc ngl, I have never given a single fucking thought to where Mayo might actually live bc I think I also thought he lowkey just lived in a houseboat or something djdjdjdje

✷ ... because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere ...

OH WHY IS THIS SO UNEXPECTEDLY ROMANTIC THO???????

✷ A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

okay, first off.... now pick a bedroom FUCKINF HOTTTTTTT And secondly, once agaaaaiiinnnn, the way you’ve woven little echoes of Pacho all throughout this as like Amado’s entire reference point for fuckships relationships with other men, bc Pacho was his first. Like it makes so much sense but also really does up the emotional anti and adds tension in way that I think is really clever, just bc Amado and Mayo are both like so terminally chill it’d be hard to manufacture otherwise? Idk if that makes any sense sksksksksks but i guess what im trying to say is just imlovingit

✷ Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

JESUSSSS NO BC EVERYONE SJSJSJS SHUT UP THIS IS THE MOST REEAALL STATE OF MIND, POST-BREAKUP. It’s that moment where you remember you’d been feeling a lot of emotional pain, but the thing that reminds you of it is more the absence of the pain? Which is like a relief and also the fucking worst sjsjs bc it’s fully, “don’t think of the purple elephant,” except it’s like, “oh damn, I haven’t thought about So-And-So for 2 days, what progress! that’s so aweso— AW FUCKINN GREAT. I was thinking about how I haven’t been thinking about So-And-So, and now I’m just thinking about them again”

✷ Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Okayokayokay so I LOVE the idea that Mayo is one of those ppl that’s like so comfortable with silence, that he rarely says anything, but like it’s not awkward really unless you make it awkward? And bc i have be insufferable to draw comparisons to my blorbo and make everything about me it’s not the kind of like shy, introverted, silent-for-survival’s sake quietness of Barrón, it’s like waaywaywayyyyy more laid back which is so on brand for him

✷ He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

OH YOU BROUGHT THE CATHOLIC GUILT INTO THIS MF AND I AM ACTHALLY ???? FUCKIGNSJDJDJDJDJD HYPERVENTILATING ??? AT HOW STEAMY THIS IS????? AND THEN YOU OPTED FOR THE KILLSHOT RIGHT BTWN MY EYES WITH “Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway” ???? I MEAN— HOW VERY DARE YOU???

✷ For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

It’s really so true how different ppl look when they’re asleep I for the record look like an actual slob goblin so this doesn’t at all apply to me like more childlike and innocent than when they’re awake and seeing that facet of Mayo would be absolutely faaaaaaaascinating, like I too would be creepin, watching this mf sleep sksksks

✷ Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

Oh friend..... uhhhhhh WHY??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????? HOW HAVE I WRONGED YOU??? WHY WOULD YOU DROP THIS 10 TON ANVIL ON MY HEAD AND THEN RUN AWAY LAUGHING ??? THIS IS SO ... YOUVE JUST FILLETED MY HEART WITH A GINSU KNIFE AND IM ACTUALLY TRYING TO KEEP THE SHREDDED PIECES TOGETHER WITH SCOTCH TAPE AND IM FEELING FINE ABOUT IT

✷ Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more? What about them?

JYEEEEEEEZUS FUCKING CHRIST DUDE THIS IS JUST THE MOST GUTTING THING “what about them” I’m fine! It’s FINEEEEEEEEEE

✷ But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

WOOOOF okay there’s this song called Brutal Hearts by Bedouin Soundclash, and it’s all about like two lovers who are clearly using each other but one is a little more attached than the other and it goes:

Are you the brutal heart? Are you the brutal heart that I’ve been looking for? ‘Cause if you’re looking for love, you can look for that door.

And this other part that goes:

I don’t mind at all. I don’t mind that you only call me when you want. And I’m just glad you want me at all.

And this is just!!!!! It’s giving me those viiiibes dude

✷ He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

NOOOOOOSTOOOOPPTPPPPP WHY IS THIS SUCH JUST THE FUCKING HOTTTTTEEEEST THING THO

✷ Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad. That’s never the bad part with anyone.

Idk what it is about this particular fic, like maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t written this pairing before, but you’re really tapping into an internal monologue for Amado with these little observations, “That’s never the bad part with anyone,” that I am LIVING FOR, like that shit is my absolute kryptonite, it really puts me so in his head and in the moment

✷ But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them. Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

UGGGGHHHSJSJSJSJDJDOAKYAYYYY IM PRETTY SURE THIS JUST DETONATED A BOMB INSIDE MY HEAD bc I just realized it’s such a another subtle allusion to Pacho like it would make so much sense that Amado would find it comforting that Mayo’s such an independent spirit bc it means he can never lose him to found-family, the way he did with Pacho, but it also means he’s less likely to get as invested in Mayo bc he’ll always sort of be at arms length and GODDDDD ITSNJUST SNSODKDKSNE IM FLIPPING MY DAMN DESK OVER BC ITS SO GOOD, ITS SUCH PROSE, ITS SO SHOW-DONT-TELL

✷ … the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

Idk why but the undertone of admiration and butthurt-ness in this is sending me skskssksks as though Amado hasn’t been super skilled at working his own connections like mans is the biggest trafficker in the world at that point, and he’s still like “ugh, that Mayo. He’s so much cooler than me. Why’s he so cool. Ugh, I hate him. But I love him but I hate him.”

✷ The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTKDDJJDJDJDJ THIS SWITCH THO from sentimentality, lfondly remembering the good ole days when everyone used to play nicely in the sandbox, to just ferally turned on about how much Mayo doesn’t give a single fuck about anyoennaksksks I cannot, at all, in any way, relate -> this is what a pack of falsehoods looks like in case you were curious

✷ “When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

OKYA IM SCREAMINFKDKD bc this is always something I’d wondered on the show, liek at first I assumed bc of the way it was shot, that they just torched his favorite boat, but it makes WAAAAAYYYY more sense, given how pissed and generally savage and ruthless Dina was, that she’d actually probably try to literally roast this man alive god, what a woman on his favorite boat

✷ He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much. He doesn’t know when he started to.

Sorryyyytjfjdjdjd I know casually murdering your friends for business purposes is like Not Funny but that first sentence is so like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you win some, you lose some!” is really making me cackle. BUT THEN ALSO THE REALIZATION THAT HE ACTUALLY CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO MAYO IS JUDT— I AM SCRWAMING, CRYING, PUNCHING WALLS

✷ “But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

“Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

SKSKSKSKSKKKSKSJSJSNSBS I HAVE NOTHING COHERENT TO SAY EXCEPT THIS IS MY FUCKINT FACE RN

✷ Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

THINGS CAN ONLY BE SO QUIET WHEN YOURE TORTURING AND KILLING PEOPLE DAILY. Everything about this whole ass fuckinskskskskn paragraph is straight tf up, pure, unadulterated, neon, white lightning comedic gold. I love the way it’s phrased almsot like a voiceover in a movie, like in my head, I’m seeing that scene where Mayo’s leaning back in that lawn chair, just calming sipping his beer, smoking his cigarette while he watches these men barbecue to death a few feet in front of him, and hearing Amado’s voice, narrating over it like, “Resulta que cosas solo pueden ser tan tranquilas cuando estas torturando y matando a gente a diario ...”

✷ He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

AGAIN, FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, ALL OF THIS BEING IN THE SHADOW OF PACHO LEAVING THE BUSINESS AND SEEING HIM FORNTHEBLAST TOME LIKE IVE ACTUALLY FULLY MELTED INTO A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR AND PEOPLE ARE STEPPING ON ME, LOOKING AT THEIR SHOE WITH DISGUST AND THEN SCRAPING ME OFF AS THEY WALK AWAY

✷ The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times ... not even Pacho can give him what he craves for … The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

I don’t even have anything articulate to say about this except that like fuck, Amado really does end up so alone at the end of it all. Like yes, in the show, he ends up with Marta but he’s lost so many others along the way, and you can just tell the money isn’t even worth it and has never really been the draw for him in the first place. It reminds me of that conversation he has with Acosta when he’s like “I like people more than money” and Amado agrees. Like I think that is the god’s honest truth but he forgets about it until it’s too late

✷ “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

UGHHHSHSKSKSKEJWJWBWBWHEJN OKAY JUST TAKE A SEARING HOT KNIFE AND JAM IT STRAIGHT THROUGH MY STERNUM INTO MY HEART WHY DONT YOU, BC I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAID, “YKNOW WHAT’S MISSING FROM MY LIFE???! MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL EVISCERATION. YES THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!! ILL HAVE SOME OF THAT WITH A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND A SIDE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS THANKS”

✷ He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it.

BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM DESERVE TO HEAR IT INCAAAAAAAAAANT EVENSODJSJD FUCKING HANDLE THESE HITS, JUST BACK TO BACK, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER, BY THE END OF THIS FIC IM GONNA BE IN A FUCKING VEGETATIVE STATE

✷ ... and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

I love Mayo’s cluelessness at Amado getting all butthurt about the term “relationship.” Like I feel like someone could put a gun to Mayo’s head and he would just casually smirk and sip from his beer, cool as can be

✷ Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Re: the above comment sksks I get the feeling that Mayo is actually the worst person to get into an argument with bc he’s so That Guy. The One that you’ll be screaming at and instead of fighting back like you want him to, he’ll just fuckin laff in your face and refuse to play ball a trait that I don’t find to be sexy, or attractive, or infuriatingly endearing at all. Nopenopenope, no siree bub

✷ “Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

Not me and Mayo just being the same person here, like just based on Amado’s house and the way he dresses, I would also expect the planes to be a little more impressive than those piece of shit tiny Cessnas that literally look like they’re being held together by fuckinfkdk barbed wire and staples

✷ Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Dang, why do I get the feeling that the boat the Arellanos set on fire, was Mayo’s first boatsksksk just to add insult to injury bc Dina was going full scorched earth policy once again, what a woman

✷ Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons. “Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

SPFFDFFFTTT NOT THIS MF JUST PURPOSELY PRESSING THE BUTTONS BC HE KNOWS ITLL BUG THE SHIT OUT OF AMADOSKSKSKS I LOVE THE WAY YOUVE WRITTEN HIM SO MUCH HERE. And then, once again, “this is too fucking complicated,” Mayo taking the words right outta my mouth although based on a number of historical documentaries I’ve seen, boats, especially sailboats can be equally confounding and hard to learn how to pilot sksks there’s just fewer buttons

✷ He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

Ooooooo so interesting that Amado rejects Mayo bc it’s like already too hard to let go, he’s enjoying his company too much. And it would make complete and total sense given that he’d just lost Pacho and knows that he’s about to bounce from the business for good and basically never see him again.

✷ It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

Ngl, I like furiously scrolled down to see how much more of the fic there was bc even though this would’ve been a fuckint banger of an ending and super on-brand, based on your ability to shatter my heart and psyche with tragedy I was about to be in full fucking fisticuffs, just fighting strangers in the street, bc that’s how mad I would’ve been if that’s the way this ended sksksk

✷ Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

Okay, once again???????? Heart wrenching???? and beautiful??! And romantic ???! and tragic bc there’s no fucking way this shit is going to end well?????

✷ But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

I do like this acknowledgment of the fact that even though he and Mayo clearly have a connection and in a way, they know each other, they still don’t like know know each other. Like it’s always been about business or sex, they haven’t ever had the, “so what’s your favorite color” conversations they’d normally have if they were together or even just friends. And it really emphasizes really how lonely Amado is, almost like he’s regretting keepin Mayo at arm’s length bc there’s this gulf of communication between them, but that’s sort of by design built into their whole arrangement

✷ Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHKAAAAAAY WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS, IM NOT EVEN— I CANT EVEN COMPUTE??????? RIGHT NOW???? THIS IS SO THOUGHTFUL AND UNEXPECTED YET DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER AS A THING MAYO WOULD GET FOR HIM?????!??? ITS— LIKE— LIKE IM IN A BALL, CATATONIC, DERANGED, LAUGHING LIKE THE JOKER, LYING ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR BC YOUVE FULLY UNRAVELED ME LIKE A SPOOL OF YARN

✷ “At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God … I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

Ohhdaaaaaaaaamn gorrrrlllllll I see you out here with these biblical references, i see you and I salute you but for the realism, not bc I’m like esp “yay! Jesus”

✷ *You will find someone.* He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

AND RHEN SSKSKSOWOWOZIANA THIS CALLBACK TO PACHO, IM FULLY FUCKING DERANGED RN

✷ “I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…”

Skskskksskskkdkdksks sorry, I just spit out my chocolate milk reading this bc Mayo is never caught off guard but I can like see and hear his confusion, here, so clearly in my mind’s eye, it’s sending me

✷ “You think I don’t know that?”

“You know, but no one really wants that, not even you.” Amado leans forward and puts both of his hands on the desk. “For the longest time I also thought I was fine with it, but no one wants to be alone.”

Oh this just got me thinking like I wonder how much older Amado is. Only bc this very much sounds like something someone a few years older would say, but then again, Amado’s been in the business for longer than Mayo, at least according to the show, so it could also just be like sksksks career advice from someone who’s further along if said career is A Life Of Doing Crimes

✷ “The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

OOOOOFFFFFF okay, so I take it back when I said that Mayo’s that person who only laughs at you when you fight with him. Like 95% of the time, I think that’s the case, except for that rare 5% of the time when he’s like this ^^ just slinging hard truths at you and it hits even harder by the very fact that he refuses to sling shit most of the time

✷ “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Okay, I love you, Amado and I have no doubt you had the best of intentions, but our homie here is making some good pointskskskk like this isn’t the best or most well-thought-out way to finally tell someone “I’m into you for more than that disco stick”

✷ “I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

I’m like.... gaaaaaaah l so conflicted bc I’m such a sucker for a happy ending but I’m also kind of like “fair, Mayo. Fair.”

✷ He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

OHHHHHHH NOOOI AMADO, TODO VA A ESTAR BIEN, POBRECITO ~~EXCEPTO QUE EN REALIDAD NO LO SÉ PORQUE NO SÉ CÓMO ESTO TERMINA PERO NECESITO QUE ESTA MIERDA ESTE BIEN

✷ “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.”

Skskskksksksksksjs “based on their last meeting” like, Amado, buddy. You can’t rule that out ever, just by the very nature of the fact that you’re all a bunch of duplicitous, murderous cartel bosses, but it’s fine sksksks

✷ This isn’t luck. Mayo *knows* him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

UH YEAAAAHHHH I FEEL LIKE THE MOST TOUCHING, SWEET, SENTIMENTAL, WELL THOUGHT OUT GIFT OF ALL TIME MEANS HE KNOWS YOU

✷ “I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

SORRYSJSJSJS i just snorted so fucking loud bc this is so something I’d actually say

✷ “So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

CUE ME FUCKING JUMPING UP AND DOWN SCREAMING LIEK IVE JUST WON THE PUBLISHER’S CLEARINGHOUSE SWEEPSTAKES AND YOUVE HANDED ME A GIANT CHECK BC I GOT MY FUCKIGN HAPPY ENDING AND I SWEAR TO GOD, I TRULY DID NOT SEE HOW IT WAS GONNA BE POSSIBLE, I DID THINK I WAS GONNA GET IT BUT YOU MADE IT HAPPEN ANYWAY

Call It Even

(My rare pair writing challenge for myself that somehow turned into a 9k words novel…)

Rating: Mature

Paring: Amado/Mayo, Amado/Pacho

Words: 9,542

The first time it happened, it was more like a stress relief than anything else. The process of restructuring the entire operation of Juárez wasn’t going as smoothly as Amado had hoped. He was living in a shitty house while his new mansion was under construction. On top of all that, he still hadn’t summoned enough courage to visit his daughter’s grave.

Mayo was asking for a favor, something about moving his boats through the port in Peñasco, which technically didn’t belong to Juárez, but he was planning to expand his operation there. He didn’t know how exactly Mayo got that information, but it didn’t matter that much. People like them always had their own ways.

They were acquaintances at best, never even met alone before, but somehow Amado just knew the other man wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a little fun time. A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

They parked the boat in the middle of open water. Below the deck, even moonlight couldn’t shine through the closed door. Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from. But then the waves must have gotten higher, because the boat started to rock back and forth, matching their increasingly intense rhythm, and all other thoughts were pushed out of his brain.

He woke up naked the next morning, under a soft blanket that smelt like sea. The boat was already moving, so he quickly got dressed and went up the deck. Mayo waved at him behind the steering wheel, or whatever that wheel was called on boats.

“How did you sleep?”

That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

“Good.” Mayo smiled, adjusting the wheel to a fixed position, and then loosely leaned on it. “We didn’t talk about tax yesterday. How much do you want?”

“How much are you moving?”

Mayo nodded at a container in the corner, “five times that much.”

Amado walked over and took off the lid, “every week? Month?”

“Twice per month.”

He did some quick math in his head. “That’s fine, you can just move them through the port.”

Mayo lifted his eyebrows in surprise, and he wished he could take back what he said. It sounded more like an insult than a nice gesture, in more ways than one.

But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.”

He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

*

They didn’t see each other for a long time after that. Mayo kept his promise, moving their agreed amount and nothing more, so Amado kept his word as well, never asking for a tax. Frankly, that amount of money would mean nothing to him if he could make this new deal with Cali.

Then he wouldn’t just be moving the products. He would be selling them.

It felt weird to meet with Pacho in the presence of others. He was so used to it being just them. It was easier that way, more relaxing. They always did other things besides talking business. Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

The meeting went well, and he felt nothing but gratefulness towards Pacho, knowing that Cali would never share their US territory with a Mexican if Pacho didn’t vouch for him.

In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

He flew back to Mexico that night and had no sleep, and the next afternoon he went to Mazatlán.

That’s why he’s standing by the port again right now, looking at the same boat. Or maybe it was a different one, just similar. He couldn’t really tell, just like others couldn’t tell his planes apart too.

*

The sun is just beginning to set, painting the sky a shade of dark orange, tainting all reflections on the water with golden sparkles. Mayo is sitting on the deck, enjoying a bottle of beer, his baseball cap placed on a chair right next to him.

He looks at Amado, and then tells his guys to leave.

“I guess you don’t need a favor.”

Amado takes off his sunglasses. He doesn’t need them under the dim sunlight. “No.”

Mayo smiles and takes the baseball cap off the chair, casually tossing it on a pile of nets nearby. “Then come aboard.”

It’s still dark below the deck, but he has just enough light to see the person right in front of him, and everything else in the background is blurred out. Their clothes are scattered on the floor. Their lips are on each other’s body so they don’t need to talk. The blankets and sheets still smell like the sea, but it’s not a bad odor— it’s fresh and natural.

It reminds him of a nice cool breeze in the midst of summer heat.

They lay side by side catching their breath, letting their heartbeats slow down after the overwhelming raw pleasure. Then the awkwardness suddenly hits him, and he doesn’t know what to say or do. That never happened before, not with women because they always wanted to cuddle, and not with Pacho either. They were already friends before anything else.

But Mayo’s not his friend, and certainly not a woman, but that thought makes him break into a smile, and Mayo spots it immediately.

“Something funny?”

There’s no point in denying it, but he’s not going to share the details. “A little.”

Mayo reaches for his pants on the floor, and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the pockets. “Good funny?”

“If you say so.” He waves it off when Mayo offers him the pack. This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face, casting a shadow of the nicely shaped nose.

“Did you come up with El Mayo yourself?” Amado doesn’t know where that question came from, probably just a random thought his brain made up on its own to alleviate the uneasiness.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just the month of May?”

“Why not?” Mayo blows out a puff of smoke. “It’s a good time of the year. Not too hot, not too rainy, great for sailing.”

That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic.

“Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

Mayo laughs with him, and then doesn’t say more. Silence falls upon them again, but the awkwardness is miraculously gone.

Mayo finishes the cigarette and takes his watch from a tiny table next to the bed, which might or might not count as a nightstand. Amado sits up straight, taking it as his cue to leave.

“You want something to eat?” Mayo takes a look at time, and then starts putting on his pants. “There’s a pretty nice seafood place around here.”

“What?”

Mayo shrugs, buckling up the belt. “It’s dinner time, unless you want to drive straight back.”

*

The restaurant is small and vibrant, full of regular civilians, half look like fishermen or sailors, or maybe they’re also criminals pretending to be normal, like them.

The owner comes out to greet Mayo, not with a handshake but an earnest hug, the kind of hug that only belongs to people who have known each other for a long time.

“I give José free shrimp all the time, so he lets me eat here free for life.” Mayo suddenly says, after the owner brought them their third round of free drinks.

Amado drinks a large gulp of cold beer. “Well, does he know why you never ask to be paid?”

Mayo just looks at him and smiles. There’s something special with that smile, by now Amado has noticed. He’s no stranger to nice smiles. He’s seen it on Pacho a thousand times, seductive and irresistible. But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason.

It makes him want to smile too.

*

They have developed into a routine since then. There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

Again, people like them always have their ways.

He’s been to most of Mayo’s boats, if not all. He even ranked them based on their comfort levels in his head. It’s actually how he can tell them apart to a large extent, not that he’s ever going to tell Mayo that. He has also learned what restaurants in Mazatlán have the freshest seafood, and that has completely ruined all seafood restaurants in Juárez. Now they all taste like shit, even the most expensive ones.

His favorite is still José’s place. The oysters are to die for, and the shrimp too, but that doesn’t surprise him. José never lets him pay, even when he’s not going with Mayo, but he always leaves a generous tip.

One day, when Amado arrives at the port as usual, he’s suddenly hit with two realizations. One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

“You don’t live on your boats, right?” He asks, just to make sure.

Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.” Amado shrugs, looking around at the now familiar surroundings. A random mechanic recognizes him and nods.

Mayo gives him a thoughtful look. “You never asked to go anywhere else.”

That’s true, because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere, and at this point, they have done a lot.

However, if he’s being completely honest with himself, boats are not yachts, and he’s not twenty years old anymore. It doesn’t hurt to fuck on a nice soft king-sized bed once in a while.

“You know, if you want a change of scenery, you don’t have to come here.” Mayo leans forward a little, staring right into his eyes like he’s reading his mind. “I’m sure it’d be a lot more comfortable in your new house, or more exciting on a plane.”

Amado’s genuinely impressed at how Mayo effortlessly turned the table, kicking the ball right back to him, even making it sound a bit like his fault.

“You never offered to make the trip.” He responds, intentionally mimicking what the other man said earlier.

“I’m offering now.”

He swallows, not sure how he’s so aroused by that simple sentence, maybe it has something to do with that unfazed attitude. “The house or the plane?”

“Your place, your call.”

*

Mayo whistles when they walk into one of the large living rooms. “How long did they take to build this again?”

“Too long if you ask me.”

Outside of the floor-to-ceiling window, a few gardeners are working on the lawn. Amado walks over and closes the curtains.

Mayo runs his fingertips along the large dining table, “is this marble?”

“I think so.”

Mayo smirks, and without asking for his permission, picks up the crystal vase at the center of the table and gently sets it on the floor. “Ever tried it?”

A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

He blinks and shakes that memory out of his mind. Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Amado shakes his head a bit frustratedly. “You just hate regular nice beds, don’t you?”

“I like them for sleeping.”

He rolls his eyes. “This is an open area. People can walk in anytime.” Not only that, there is a big sculpture of The Last Supper on the shelf directly facing this table.

“They all work for you, just tell them to stay away. We can be quiet.” Mayo glances at the sculpture, and then gives him a smirk, outright sinful. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

He gives in. He can never resist. Sometimes he wonders how he hasn’t developed a coke addiction with his crappy self control. Maybe sex is the only thing he’s drawn to.

Despite his vindictive efforts to make it difficult, Mayo does manage to stay quiet, but he can tell the tension and excitement from the grip on his shoulders, hard enough to leave bruises. He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

*

Amado wakes up in the morning next to another warm naked body. Right, they did it again last night, finally on a bed like normal people. Sunlight shines through the small slit between heavy curtains. The room looks peaceful at this time, and so does the person. For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

He doesn’t realize he’s leaning in until their faces are inches apart from each other. Then Mayo opens his eyes.

It could be some sixth sense that they all eventually develop in their world. The sleepiness in Mayo’s light brown eyes turns into alert immediately. Amado jumps back just in time to avoid being hit in the face.

The air is filled with awkward tension as they stare at each other from their own side of bed, both still naked under the cover.

“Shit man,” Mayo laughs and runs a hand down his face, “don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry.” He mutters, turning away to get out of bed.

“What time is it?” Mayo asks, although there is a large clock right there on the wall.

“Around 8:40.” Amado answers as he walks to the closet, putting on a black bathrobe.

“Great, I should be back by noon.” Mayo takes the identical robe right next to it and wraps it around himself.

“Something going on?”

“There’s always something going on.” Mayo brushes off the question and walks towards the bathroom, but stops in front of the nightstand as something catches his eye.

“Huh, is this the one you flew to Mazatlán last time?” He picks it up, and Amado’s heart drops as he sees what’s in the other man’s hands.

“Put that down!”

“Sí, tranquilo!” Mayo immediately sets it back down on the nightstand, and then puts up both hands. “Sorry.”

Amado pinches the bridge of his nose. He didn’t realize how dramatic his tone was, but he’s not going to apologize. Mayo shouldn’t be touching his stuff without asking, but he also didn’t set that rule straight yesterday with the vase.

Mayo crosses his arms and fixes him with an inquisitive stare, not at all offended or demanding, just simply curious about his sudden outburst, and somehow that enrages him even more. He knows it’s not the best way to deal with the situation, but at this moment, he just wants to tell Mayo to go take a shower, get dressed and get out of his house.

“My bad, I should have known.” Mayo breaks the silence with another apology. “Of course you would have some strong attachments to planes, even if it’s a model.”

If it came from anyone else, it would sound like they were making fun of him, saying he was like a little boy holding onto his toys. But Mayo somehow always manages to make the teasing remarks sound harmless and fun, like there are no other hidden meanings.

Amado sighs, “it was my daughter’s.”

Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Mayo lifts his eyebrows in surprise. “How old is she?”

“Six.” He walks towards the nightstand and adjusts the toy plane to the exact same location and angle as before. “She was six.”

He knows Mayo will catch the specific choice of word, so he doesn’t bother to meet him in the eye. He remembers how Pacho looked at him after hearing the news: shock, pity, pain… As heartwarming as it was to know someone else cared, he doesn’t want to see any of that again.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”

Amado remains quiet, because he doesn’t want to say it’s ok. It’s fucking not.

“What was her name?”

“Anna.”

“Sounds very pretty.”

She is. She’s the prettiest little girl he’s ever seen.

He hears a gentle sigh, and then footsteps walking away. The bathroom door closes, and water starts running.

*

Nothing prepared Amado for the news Pacho brought. Cali is getting out of the business, for good. But why? How? What is he going to do? Where else can he get this amount of supply? “Gilberto and Miguel have always treated me as family. I’m going to join them.”

Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more?

What about them?

Once Pacho has made up his mind, there’s no way to change it. Amado knows. That’s one of the reasons he respects him so much. But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

*

Mayo opens the door when he arrives at the house in a suburban area. Amado hasn’t been here before, but it looks like a nice house, just not the house. It’s well decorated, both comfortable and aesthetic, but he just doesn’t feel like this is a place Mayo would call home. Why he feels that way, he doesn’t know, and he’s also not in the mood to think about.

They waste no time getting into bed, pieces of clothing scattered all over the expensive carpet. They’ve done it both ways, and both have been highly enjoyable, but tonight he’s not here for fun. He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

When he shoves the other man into the mattress, Mayo shoots him a suspicious glance but doesn’t protest, which he really appreciates. He enters the warm body with little preparation, feeling the muscles clenching around his length. He forces himself to take a deep breath and slow down, so he doesn’t actually hurt him. Causing pain to whomever he sleeps with is never a turn-on.

Underneath him Mayo silently grabs the silky sheet, and he covers it with his own hand, intertwining their fingers tightly until their knuckles turn white.

The orgasm is satisfying and cathartic as usual, but physical pleasure can only do so much. They sit on their own sides of bed, the only thing floating in silent air is the smoke from two cigarettes.

Finally Mayo turns to him first, intentionally blowing a puff of smoke next to his face. “That bad?”

Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad.

That’s never the bad part with anyone.

“Have you ever had partners?” He asks, although he doesn’t even know why that question came to mind, or how that’s relevant in any way.

“Partners? No.” Mayo chuckles, “things change, people change, and once you have a disagreement…”

He pauses and turns to look Amado in the eye. It’s probably not a special or intense look to anyone else, but Amado knows all about it now: the teasing suggestiveness that’s always followed by something provocative, for better or worse.

“When things don’t work out, you will have to betray them, or kill them, right?”

Amado frowns, suddenly realizes how audacious Mayo has become with him, but what’s worse is that he doesn’t feel offended or threatened when he should.

“Hey, no judgment here. You do what you have to do. That’s the business.” Mayo pats him playfully on the naked shoulder. “I’m just saying that’s too much trouble for me. Always better to be my own boss.”

Is it? Maybe. Amado agrees, but he wouldn’t have agreed a decade ago. He thinks about Acosta, and even Miguel. He used to see them as partners. Maybe he doesn’t call them families like how Pacho calls the other Cali godfathers, but he cared about them at some point.

But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them.

Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

*

He thought losing his supply would be the biggest problem, but he should have known the golden rule in their business: when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

He just got off the plane an hour ago, hadn’t even had something to eat yet, and the fucking Arellanos shot up his favorite restaurant. He lost two bodyguards, but everyone else got out of there safely. He’s unscratched.

Amado rushes back home, asks his men to do a thorough security evaluation, and pours himself a generous glass of whiskey. When his phone rings, he has barely finished one third of the glass.

Mayo doesn’t bother to say hello. “Did they make a move on you too?”

It’s a vague question, doesn’t even specify who they are. Amado can play oblivious if he wants, but a shootout in a public restaurant is no secret, so there’s no point in denying.

“Why are you asking?”

He hears a sigh. “Well, they burned my ship. Just trying to figure out if I’m the only one they’re pissed at.”

Amado almost wants to tell him he got off easy. Having a ship burned sounds much better than being shot at. But this is not the time for jokes.

“You want to meet tomorrow? For business.” Now that he thinks about it, the last two words really aren’t necessary.

“Sure, Juárez or Mazatlán?”

“I’ll fly there first thing in the morning. Meet by the port?”

“Sounds good. I’ll show you the wreckage.”

Mayo makes it sound like something good, which he doesn’t understand, but now he’s curious. Which ship was burned? The biggest one? How many times have they done it in that one?

“So…see you tomorrow?” Mayo asks tentatively, snapping him out of his roaming thoughts. He must have been quiet for a while.

He quickly confirms and hangs up the phone. It’s been a long day, and he needs to get up early tomorrow. Time for some sleep.

*

Amado has never been to this port in the morning, and the beautiful scene makes him wonder why he hasn’t. Morning sunlight is bright but gentle, without the burning afternoon heat, just a hopeful glow on the tranquil water. It contrasts the ship wreckage perfectly, almost in an artistic way.

“Shit, the biggest one?” Amado shakes his head looking at the ruins. “Always come for what we love, right?”

“It’s a shame. She was my favorite one. Still had a few good years to go.” Mayo touches the burned metal frame. “But it’s fine. We managed to put it out before it could spread to other boats.”

“I assume you’re here to talk about a plan.” Mayo leads him to another boat, takes out two bottles of beers from a freezer and throws him one.

He catches it. “And I assume you already have one.”

Mayo smirks behind the beer bottle, and then goes on to explain how he plans to use Sinaloan’s manpower to move products through Tijuana. It’s a unique plan, the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

That means Mayo wants something from him too.

“What do you need from me?”

“Chapo already has men, so we just need products to get going. The numbers you’re doing? I’m sure you don’t mind sparing a little.” Mayo raises the half empty bottle to him, “and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“What rest?”

“What else?” Mayo shrugs, “the Arellanos tried to kill you. Surely the Lord of the Skies won’t let that slide.”

The sun is rising higher, and he puts on his sunglasses. “I don’t know. The Arellanos helped me to take down Félix.”

Mayo simply takes another sip of beer. “So?”

The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

“I’ll advance your products.” He says, a bit hurriedly. It’s a good thing that he has his sunglasses on.

“Great. Then it’s a deal.”

Usually this is when they shake hands, but at this point, they both know they’re closer than that.

“It’s a deal.” Amado nods, and claps Mayo’s shoulder, giving it a firm shake.

The other man immediately tenses up under his touch, almost like a held-back flinch. The beer bottle drops on the deck and shatters.

“What…” Startled, Amado removes his hand. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing. The bottle just got slippery.”

“No, what happened to your left arm?”

Mayo waves it off with the other arm. “It’s fine, man. Not a big deal.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” He meant to use a stern tone, but it comes out more annoyed than anything. “What the fuck’s going on?”

Mayo lets out a frustrated sigh, acting like Amado is the unreasonable one here. “Just a burn I got last night, when I got off the ship.”

“When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

“You know how it is. We’ve all done it.” Mayo says that casually, and Amado truly doesn’t understand how he’s so calm about it. People fuck over and kill each other in this business. That’s no news. But almost being burned alive?!

“They fucked up their chance, and now it’s our turn. It’s that simple.” Mayo explains, like he’s the one trying to calm Amado down, which is quite funny since Amado is usually the calm one.

Then it hits him. He is usually calmer than this. He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much.

He doesn’t know when he started to.

“We’ll get back at them, right?” Mayo pulls him out of his thoughts again. “That’s what we’re talking about here.”

“Yeah.” Amado adjusts his sunglasses, trying to get his brain back to business mode, and when he speaks, the viciousness in his voice matches perfectly with the rage inside. “They need to die.”

“I’ll make sure of that.”

“But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

Mayo gives him a smile, the kind of smile that’s only reserved for when they’re alone, often naked. “Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

*

Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

The violence doesn’t surprise him, but Hank’s reaction does. It starts to make more sense when he puts more thoughts into the situation. Hank is a politician, and with politicians, it’s all about appearances, about what everything looks like on the outside. At the end of the day, they don’t care how many people in the drug business die, as long as it doesn’t get traced back to them. That’s why Hank is threatening to cut all ties.

Again, when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

Pacho visits him again to talk about a final deal with Cali, but they both know that’s just an excuse for them to see each other one last time.

They drink, they talk, they laugh at each other’s jokes. Everything feels natural and relaxing, because by one in a million chance, they actually enjoy each other’s company. They like each other, a lot, and that fucking destroys him.

When they finally move to the bedroom, Amado wishes time would pause so he can imprint every detail of this experience in his brain, remember every little sound Pacho makes when he’s touched, the way each muscle tenses with arousal, and how those beautiful brown eyes stare right into his when pleasure takes them both over the edge.

He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

“Stay.” He says hopefully, desperately. “We can start something on our own. It’ll be good, just like the old times.”

The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times.

“I can’t. You know I would if I could.” Pacho’s smooth voice sounds even deeper, almost like a sigh, and there’s nothing other than honesty and sorrow in his words. “Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are my family. I love them. I can’t leave them when they need me the most.”

Amado feels a lump in his throat, and he has to blink away the burning sensation behind his eyes. He will miss Pacho, but that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is he sees it now: not even Pacho can give him what he craves for.

It’s not sex, and even a good friendship isn’t enough. The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

He wants someone. What’s the fucking point to get on top of the world only to end up dying alone in a ditch or a small cell?

“Hey, Amado…” Pacho touches his cheek, uncharacteristically gentle, eyes filled with genuine care and empathy. “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it. They should end on a hopeful note, just like how they started, believing they were building the biggest collaborative empire in narcos history. Now, they need to believe they will get out of it.

*

Preparing for a grand escape plan is not easy, especially for someone like him: the number one target on everyone’s list, since he’s doing the biggest numbers.

There are several times when Amado’s having too much stress and not enough sleep, he has an almost unstoppable desire to call Mayo. It’s like a habit now, the perfect person to have an hour of good time with just to chase some temporary release before he has to get back to reality. At least that’s what he’s telling himself. It’s just the sex, and the good food, and the occasional entertaining conversations, and… He shakes himself out of it. This is not a good time for that. There won’t ever be a good time again.

Surprisingly, Mayo ends up contacting him first, saying they have business to discuss. Honestly, they do. Things in Tijuana are getting too loud, which can’t be good for his already challenging escape plan. And speaking of that, he should at least have the decency to let Mayo know, not about his plan of course, but just the fact that their deal, cooperation and whatever else is over.

Amado should have reached out first, but he has been delaying it because he’s been busy, because there are a hundred more important things to take care of, because Mayo probably doesn’t even need it — such a gesture is never expected from people like them.

All these are true, but none of them is the most crucial reason.

He doesn’t want to.

*

This is the most silent conversation they’ve had, even tenser than the first time they met, or the first time they fucked. He used to think it was impossible to have an awkward interaction with Mayo. The man has many talents, but the most of them all is his forever easygoing demeanor. It has always been comfortable to be around him, until now.

“So, is the rumor true?” Mayo takes a small sip of beer and sets the bottle neatly on the coaster.

“What rumor?” It’s not a rhetorical question. There are ten new rumors every hour these days.

“You know, about Cali.” Mayo smiles and tilts his head suggestively, and the air is filled with a dangerous sense of provocation, dancing on the edge of offensiveness. “People have been talking, but who knows better than you? You are the one with the relationship.”

The words are spoken in a gentle, teasing tone, almost warm, yet Amado feels himself freeze, muscles tensing up instinctively like he’s about to enter a shootout.

He bites out the word in a flat tone. “Relationship?”

“Yeah? I mean, we’re all transporting their products, but you are the only one they have a close relationship with. Everyone knows that.”

Amado slowly leans closer, usually that would be a gesture of intimacy between them, but now it only carries threat and pressure. “What are you trying to say, Mayo?”

“That they’re getting out of the business?” Mayo shrugs and picks up the beer bottle again, casually taking another sip, and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

Amado stares into Mayo’s eyes, hoping to see something in the other man’s eyes that can give him away: nervousness, challenge or even smugness, but there’s nothing besides curiosity, as if that provocative stare earlier only existed in Amado’s imaginations.

Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Amado sighs and leans back into his chair. “It’s true.”

“I see.” Mayo nods, seemingly not surprised at all. “Things are changing fast these days, huh?”

“They are.”

“Well, guess I’ll get going then, a lot to take care of.” Mayo finishes the beer, grabs his cowboy hat and starts walking away, but then he stops, turning back to Amado again.

“Hey you know what? Why don’t you fly me back to Mazatlán?”

“…What?”

“You’ve been on all my boats, but I’ve never been on one of your planes.” Mayo leans sideways on a wall, a pretty clear gesture to show he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants. “That doesn’t sound fair, does it?”

It’s a silly question. Since when is fairness ever a consideration in their business? But this isn’t a business request.

This entire meeting has little to do with business.

*

Mayo doesn’t hide his surprise and confusion when they get out of the car at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by sparse desert plants.

“What, didn’t meet your expectations?” Amado feels the corners of his mouth curving up as he leads them through a narrow path into an open area covered by bushes and large stones, where a few small but efficient planes are hidden. If he has a choice, he rather spends more time here, out in an open field with his planes. He can fly away anytime, get up there in the sky and let everything fade away. How nice would that be?

“Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

“Fair enough, so which one’s your favorite?”

“None of them. My favorite one, she is a bit too old to fly now.” Amado answers truthfully. There’s no need for tests and games now. This is the last time.

“I get it. It’s like your first love, never easy to let go.” Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Amado doesn’t know if that’s really the case because he never asked, and it’s too late to ask now. So he simply walks to a plane and unlocks the door.

Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons.

“Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

“They’re pretty intuitive once you understand them.” Amado quickly completes the checklist before taking off. It’s like muscle memory to him now. “I like it more than driving.”

“Oh I’m sure! At least there’s no traffic up there.” Mayo laughs, and it sounds no different than their countless previous encounters. Amado swallows down the uncomfortable sourness in his chest, silently moving the plane to the runway.

“Put your headset on.”

“Yes sir.” The teasing voice comes out of his own headset and it makes his neck tingle. It sounds too close, like a whisper right into his ear.

The runway looks unimpressive but it’s very well maintained. Within a minute, they’re smoothly going up in the air.

Once they reach a stable attitude, he immediately hears Mayo’s voice coming from the headset again. “So how good of a pilot are you?”

Amado scoffs, “what do you think?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ve gotten rusty? It’s not like you need to transport your own cargo these days.”

Amado rolls his eyes. “If you’re challenging me to do tricks in the air, it’s not fucking happening.”

“What? No! Why would I…” Mayo bursts out laughing, “I have something else in mind.”

“No.” Amado hears the word coming out of his own mouth before Mayo’s hand reaches his thigh.

“Why not?”

“Do you want to die?”

“I thought you were a good pilot.” The hand slowly moves closer, skillful fingers closing around his belt buckle, “a very good one.”

“Stop it.”

“Calm down. We won’t be landing in a while, right? I’m not a pilot but I know this is the easy part.” His belt buckle opens with a click. He didn’t actually hear it with his headset on, but somehow he felt the sound.

Mayo was right. There’s not much to do until he starts the landing process. Sure, it’s still reckless to get a handjob while flying, but that’s not why he can’t do it.

He’s already enjoying everything too much as it is.

“Mayo, stop it right now.” He says that in the most threatening tone he can manage at the moment, but even he can hear the subtle shakiness.

He hears a scoff, and then his zipper opens. “I don’t think you mean that.”

Soft fingertips meet his growing desire, and there’s no way to explain, nowhere to hide.

No. This is not happening.

He grabs Mayo’s hand, yanks it out of his pants and throws it to the other side of the cockpit like a piece of hot metal.

Amado hears a loud bang, and from the side vision, he sees Mayo’s body tense up at the impact. He expects a painful groan, but no sound is coming through his headset.

He sighs and turns to look. Mayo’s balling his left hand into a fist. It looks red with a few small cuts. Maybe it hit an uneven surface on the control panel.

Mayo silently looks up and meets his gaze, and for the first time, he sees a crack of that seemingly undisturbable front. He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

“Did anything break?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

He wants to say more, maybe even apologize, but then decides against it. He wishes he could do something without much talking, like offering an ice pack. Then he remembers he can actually do that.

“There’s a first aid box at the back if you need it.”

“Ok.” Mayo says, but doesn’t go get it.

They spend the rest of the flight in complete silence. When they’re approaching Mazatlán, Amado nearly makes a comment on how beautiful the sea is, just a natural reaction, but then he bites his lips and swallows the words back.

The landing is as smooth as the take off. Amado turns off the engine, and suddenly all background noise disappears.

Mayo gives him one last look, neither hostile or friendly, just acknowledging his existence.

“It was a good ride, for as long as it lasted.”

Then he opens the door and steps off. Amado watches him walk away. He thought it would feel different, more significant in a way, but it’s not. It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

*

It takes another three weeks to get everything ready: house, money, securities, the exact plane he needs to fly. He thought about every possible way that things could go wrong and how to counter each scenario. It’s the best plan he could come up with, and if that doesn’t work…well, there’s an end to everything.

It’s 6 pm in the evening. Amado sits alone on the grand staircase, looking down at the luxurious living room. He once overheard a maid telling a gardener the sunset looked gorgeous from the floor to ceiling window in this living room. He didn’t pay much attention, pretty much forgot about it right after. But just earlier today it suddenly came back to him, because he wanted to watch the beautiful sunset from his home at least once.

In two days, he will be gone.

He slowly sips a glass of whiskey, watching the sky get darker. Maybe he’s supposed to feel some kind of tranquility. Things might not go as planned tomorrow, he knows that and has made peace with it more or less. Whatever happens, he’s had an exciting life, more exciting than most.

Still, he can’t shake the restless feeling in his chest, and deep down he knows why. It’s been there since his last trip to Mazatlán.

Mayo might have gotten the closure he wanted, but Amado hasn’t.

He’s been telling himself it doesn’t matter either way, but that’s a lie. He’s never been someone to leave a loose end of any kind. He’s never been a coward since he got into this business, and he’s certainly not going to be one at the end of it.

Amado gets up from the stairs, grabs a jacket and walks out of the door.

*

It’s already pitch dark when he gets to Mazatlán, completely alone. Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

He knows where Mayo lives. He’s known it for a very long time, but never had a reason to visit without an invitation, until now.

The guards by the door look equally perplexed and scared, and Amado wonders if their patrón ever informed them of this possibility, if Mayo ever expected him to intrude.

The door opens after several minutes, and through some complicated corridors, he’s led to a cozy room that looks like a study. The light is dim and intimate, the armchair feels soft. Everything here is screaming for something to happen, except the owner himself.

“What a big surprise.” Mayo gives him a smile across from the large wooden desk, appropriate and polite.

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“Does it matter if I do?”

Amado looks away for a second. “Maybe not.” It’s true. Once he’s gone it wouldn’t matter.

“So? This must be something important.”

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…I didn’t make it clear last time.” He takes a deep breath, and then slowly exhales. “I told you about the supply, but…”

He stops mid-sentence. He’s practiced this over a hundred times in his head on the way here, but there is no other way to say I’m disappearing for good without actually saying it.

“You won’t see or hear from me again,” he ends up saying. It’s the closest to truth he can afford to share, “for quite a while.”

“I see.” There’s a second of surprise on Mayo’s face, but he immediately looks away to hide it. Then it’s completely gone when their eyes meet again. “Maybe laying low for a while isn’t a bad idea, considering all that’s happening.”

Part of Amado wishes Mayo to say something else, to give a hint that he knows what’s really happening, so there is at least one person in the world that understands.

But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

“You’re gonna be ok? With supply and everything?”

Mayo chuckles, relaxed and genuine just like the good old times. “You know me, Amado.”

“Yeah. Always been your own boss, right?”

He feels the smile on his own face as they look at each other. There is no tension or sorrow, just a peacefulness that makes his stomach warm.

“Oh, I almost forgot! Since you’re here…” Mayo opens a drawer and takes out a small box. “I wanted to give it to you last time when you flew me back, but you know, plans change.”

It’s not wrapped or decorated in any way, just a plain black box. He gives Mayo a questioning look, but the other man just shrugs, so he opens it.

It’s a small sculpture of a boat, not like the ones Mayo uses to transport shrimp and coke, but a dreamy sailboat with exquisite pink and golden patterns, like something that belongs to a princess in fairy tales. Under the boat, white waves are curling on the crystal blue ocean, but they also look like sky and clouds.

And on the boat is a dark-haired little girl in a long white dress. Her eyes are closed and her lips are tilted up into a sweet smile. She’s holding a bible to her chest, a cross dangling from her neck.

Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

Amado opens his mouth to say something, but he feels his throat close up. Suddenly it’s hard to make a sound or even breathe.

“At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God.” He hears Mayo speaking again. Maybe he’s been silent for too long, but his brain can’t even register the words he’s hearing. “I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

“I…” He tries to speak again, and his voice comes out hoarse and strained. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Hey, it’s ok, really!” Now somehow Mayo also seems to be panicking a little, which is almost a miracle. “It’s not like I made it myself. I just paid someone to do it and it’s not even expensive.”

Amado traces the word Anna with his fingertips, feeling the delicate design. All of a sudden a trigger in his brain is flipped, releasing a piece of memory, with Pacho’s voice echoing in his ears.

You will find someone.

He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

He was just fucking blind.

He reaches over and grabs Mayo’s hand.

“Come with me.”

“…What? To where?”

“I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…” So many turbulent emotions flash through Mayo’s face, and Amado has never seen something more vivid, more real. “And you said…What are you asking exactly?!”

“I know I should have said something sooner, way sooner, but it’s now or never.” Amado feels the hand under his palm tense up, so he rubs circles on the skin soothingly. “And I don’t want it to be never.”

“You…” Mayo stares at him completely dumbfounded, speechless. Maybe he deserves some kind of award just for that. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Look, just think about it. How long are you gonna keep doing this? And what’s your end goal? To make bigger numbers than me? Than Cali? Escobar?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I know, I’m not…” He feels Mayo trying to pull the hand away, so he lets it go out of respect. “You’re right. That’s none of my business, but I know one thing.”

He looks around the room at the tasteful decorations representing their owner’s wealth. “All these… They’ll be gone when the end catches up, one way or another.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“You know, but no one really wants that, not even you.” Amado leans forward and puts both of his hands on the desk. “For the longest time I also thought I was fine with it, but no one wants to be alone.”

Mayo remains quiet and expressionless for a while, and Amado waits patiently, more than willing to give him the time. But then his entire figure hardens. “So that’s what this is all about.”

Amado senses something is terribly wrong, but he doesn’t know what. “What do you mean?”

“Well let’s see, where do I begin? The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

“What?! No! How did you even…”

“No? Really?!” Mayo abruptly stands up and bangs on the desk with both hands, so hard that he feels the floor vibrate a little.

Amado leans back into his chair out of sheer instinct. He’s not frightened by the outburst, but he is genuinely, wholeheartedly in shock.

Mayo glances at the door and lowers his voice, but the menace it carries only increases. “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Mayo balls both hands into fists, slightly trembling with tension. Under the table, Amado holds the sculpture tightly, its hard edges digging into his palm. It hurts.

Maybe Mayo should have just punched him last time on the plane after they landed. He would have deserved it, and Mayo could have saved himself some trouble.

But nothing happens, just like nothing happened last time. Eventually Mayo lets out a long sigh and sits back down.

“I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

Amado feels his body burning, but there’s also a scary numbness, like his brain literally just overheated his entire body because it couldn’t handle everything that was going on.

He swallows and puts his hands on the armrests, bracing himself to stand up, then turns around to walk away.

“I’m sorry.” He says, when he reaches the door. The words came out on their own, surprising himself. He turns around, truly one last time.

“I’m sorry. I mean it.”

“I said get out.”

*

Amado spends the next two days in autopilot mode. He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

He hugs his brother one last time when they get to the deserted secret airport, watching the car drive away. Then he just stands there by himself for a few minutes, registering the fact that this is really happening. Then he starts to move his luggage into the plane. There are quite a few bags, understandably, so it will take him several trips.

When he’s about to walk out of the plane to grab the last two duffel bags, he hears a car coming. Silently cursing, Amado takes out his gun and takes cover inside the plane, peeking out of a window.

The person walks out of the car.

His breath hitches.

Amado slowly walks down the air stair, pistol pointing at the ground. “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.” Mayo leans back on the car and crosses his arm, “but that doesn’t fit my best interest.”

“How did you even find me?”

“You brought me here once. Did you forget that too?”

He doesn’t respond, and doesn’t need to. They both know that doesn’t answer the question.

“I saw the news for the last two days. They’ve been seizing your large hangers, thinking they’ve got you pinned down. But I thought hey, maybe that was the plan, a well timed distraction.” Mayo shrugs, “Believe it or not, it was a blind guess, just good luck.”

Amado turns the safety back on and tucks the gun away. This isn’t luck. Mayo knows him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

“Alright, say I believe that.” He takes a few steps closer tentatively. “Why are you here?”

“I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Amado adjusts his jacket. All of a sudden he’s feeling the chilliness of the evening breeze, like his body is coming out of the robotic state.

“I don’t want to wait for the end to catch up, and if I’m being honest, with how things are going these days? When the time comes for me I might not have a plan better than this one that you spent months working on, whatever it is.”

Mayo walks to the back of the car and opens the truck, revealing several large bags.

“So I’m taking advantage of this good chance right now.”

“So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

Amado walks over and helps him take out two bags. His own luggage on the ground can wait a little.

“Then let’s call it even?”

“I don’t know, depends on where we’re going.”

“Chile.”

Mayo thinks about it, and then smiles.

“Deal.”

*

“We also need to hide your car.” Amado says, after they moved everything into the plane.

“Don’t worry about it, José will take care of it later.” Mayo waves him off, “I do have some plans, you know?”

“Wait…José? José the restaurant guy?!”

Mayo pauses for several seconds, and then bursts out laughing. “Right, I never told you!”

“Never told me what?”

Mayo pats him on the shoulder, with that exact same casual playfulness as before. The only difference is this time Mayo lets the touch linger there.

“I’ll tell you everything later. We’ve got time.”

@ashlingiswriting @hausofmamadas @mandaloria314 @drabbles-mc @cherixrosa @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @anunhealthydoseofangst @narcolini @artemiseamoon @alreadywritten @sikkui @dashavau

[alexglitches]

Thank you so much for the headcanons! I agree fully on them!! ^w^ I can't imagine the levels of panics happening with the respect dorms, can I ask for more? With some added spices?

Like, example, the peeps who gets genderbend would still help out in the dorm (Idia would be forced like usual even more since this happened) and the dorm members have to hold back those oh so troublesome teenage hormones and try not to look at their chests or try to push back some thoughts that come to mind. (This isn't a NSFW thing, but came to mind once I wound up finding out some people picture female Azul to have a more curvy figure and she'd be self conscious about it)

Another would be the first years of the dorms, like Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel, would be confused or not phased at first until something cute happens that leaves them blushing

aahhahahhhahaah f u n

More Genderbend Azul, Idia, Ruggie, Vil and Riddle HCs

Leona actually does his job as a dorm leader for once cuz he still can’t say no to Ruggie (and he growls cuz she looks super fricking smug about it lolol) but at least she still does some things to help

and tbh, Idia does actually try (mainly cuz of ortho) but chickens out half way through cuz everyone can’t stop staring at her

everything is somewhat normal for Vil and Azul, mainly because they have intimidating vice dorm leaders that could kick ass if you look at them weirdly

Riddle ends up collaring more people (even tho she was working hard on trying to collar less) because everyone wouldn’t stop flirting with her-

even students that weren’t in her dorm got collared

the first years are all confused as frick lmao

Jack tries to help, really he does, but Ruggie ended up saying something cute and now he’s locking himself in his room (idk what she said o-o)

Epel tries to stay away from Vil because awkward but she catches him and tries to fix his makeup but gets a bit too close o>o

Jade and Floyd end up being bodyguards for Azul more than usual because of all the creeps and at the end of the day she does that tsundere “thanks…” with that cute pout and red face and they just- jnckjsnckjm

Riddle does that too when someone breaks a rule she put up because of this scenario, Ace teases her for it but Deuce’s face just combusts and both end up in collars

Idia’s dorm is most affected because they’re all awkward about it and won't stop looking at her whenever she passes by and some can’t help but look lower

Ortho threatens to blast them dncjsnjcsd,m

and about curvy femAzul?

YESSSSSS I saw fanart of that once and was like hfkjsnbdkjndsm bi panic XD

she gets pretty self conscious but everyone just panics and simps harder dkbfkjsanckjx

floyd squeezes her more than normal hjjhhjhhjj

[letarasstuff]

Girl meets World

(A/N): This was requested by an anon and is based on a show named 'Boy meets world', tho I never watched it so I went solely with the summary from said anon. I hope you still like it :)

Summary: Spencer's daughter is not ready for her first kiss. But are her classmates fine with that?

Warnings: Mean kids, angst but fluff at the end

Wordcount: 1.6k

✨Masterlist✨ ___________________________

Being on the not so popular side in school is not particularly hard, but it doesn’t exactly make things easier for (Y/N). That’s why Spencer was happy to hear from her invitation to a classmate’s birthday party.

“You call me and I’ll get you. I don’t mind if it’s in ten minutes or in two hours. Whenever you feel uncomfortable or you are done with peopling, it’s fine wanting to leave. Ok?” Her father tells her, sitting with her in the car in front of the birthday girl’s house. “Understood. Thank you, Dad. I see you no later than ten. Love you!”

Off she goes. Spencer watches (Y/N) going up the path to the front door, a bright colored bag with a gift in her hand. He considers driving up to Penelope’s apartment, which is only five minutes away, and cries with her over his daughter growing up with a tub of ice cream in both their hands. A second later the father puts his plan into motion.

Meanwhile (Y/N) is inside with a bunch of people from different classes. All those kids already make her nervous. But she is determined to make it through the night. After all, the girl doesn’t want to be seen as a baby that gets overwhelmed by a room full of human beings.

At first it isn’t that bad. (Y/N) finds a few classmates she has a class or two with and they converse. Until someone screams “Let’s play Spin-The-Bottle”. Now the eleven year old kind of feels like she is on a movie or a show. What’s next, she has to kiss the boy she has a crush on since the beginning of the school year?

Still all of the children gather around in a circle and a bottle is placed in the middle. “The rules are simple”, a kid explains, “The bottle chooses two people. They get five minutes in that closet over there.” Right, just like she predicted. (Y/N) is hesitant. They are too young to do something like that. Once again she doesn’t want to be the party pooper, so she sits down between two classmates.

Every time the bottle spins a dread weighs down in her stomach. (Y/N) is only eleven years old. Is she even ready to have her first kiss in a closet? Shouldn’t it be out of love, willently without anybody forcing two random people to such an act?

Seems like the others think these rules are fair and square. Everybody is participating with the utmost joy. Maybe it’s just her, who grew up with romantic novels written by people who not even her Grandmother witnessed alive being read to her for bed night.

Deep into calculating the probability of the bottle pointing to her, it needs a few shouts and a nudge to get (Y/N) out of her head. “Looks like it’s your turn to go into the closet”, her neighbor says to her, gesturing to the bottle, which in fact points towards her. The girl swears that the color of her cheeks is even darker than a tomato.

Shyly she gets up to the wardrobe. The remaining girls nod encouragingly while the next person is chosen by the bottle. Luckily it’s not the boy she has a crush on, this would be like in a fanfiction, too much like a cliché.

Just a few seconds later she finds herself in the closet. Is it appropriate to make a joke about coming out of the closet?

“Well, here we are”, the other boy says. (Y/N) thinks his name is Tyler. “Yeah, I guess.” She shuffles her foot and scratches her neck. “So, shouldn’t we kiss or something?”

Geez, that boy is out for action. “Uhm, what about if we do not? I’m not ready for that and no offence but I want my first kiss with somebody special and you are just a boy from my grade and there are no feelings between us and I need that special moment, because I’m a hopeless romantic.” The girl says all of this in one breath, making her speech pace compete with her father’s.

But Tyler smiles. “It’s okay. I get it, really. I won’t tell anyone. We can just sit here and talk until they knock. How does that sound?” (Y/N) smiles and nods. They sit down on some boxes and just laugh quietly about anything and everything they tell each other.

As soon as they have to come out of the closet, the other kids bombard them with questions. Tyler shuts all of them with one answer up. “A lady and gentleman are quiet and enjoy themselves.”

The rest of the evening goes relatively uneventful. There is a nice buffet and after that the kids watch a couple of movies until the first parents show up to pick up their children. Spencer is relieved to see his daughter so energetic and happy after the party.

“And then we played spin the bottle like in a teen movie. Dinner was also really nice and I think I made one or two more friends. Isn’t it amazing, Dad?” He answers her enthusiastically that he is in fact very happy for her. And Spencer is. But it kind of also implies that she grows up, a fact he doesn’t like.

The party was on a Saturday night and now it’s Monday, the first day after it. (Y/N) is ecstatic to go. In her mind her classmates finally accepted her for who she is. But as soon as she enters the school yard the kids from her grade look weirdly at her.

Immediately the girl’s mind goes into panic. Has she something on her face? Is it the way she dresses? Or is it some- The kiss. Or technically the not kiss.

“Hey Reid, I heard you are unkissed. What about I show you in the janitor’s room? Do you also want rose petals and candles laying around?” Someone starts to taunt her. The bystanding classmates begin to laugh.

(Y/N) has to listen to similar comments for the rest of the school day. A few boys from her science class make kissing noises whenever the teacher isn’t near them. Tyler once catches her eyes, mouthing an apology. But it’s not relevant to her at this point. The only thing that counts right now is getting through the last class without breaking down in front of the others. She can’t show them any more weakness.

When his daughter comes home, Spencer is already there. Hotch gave them an early off, since the last few cases were draining for all of them.

Instead of greeting him with a smile and the definition of happiness she enters the apartment with the biggest frown the father has ever seen on her face. “Hey Dad”, (Y/N) flatly says before disappearing into her room.

Confused, he assumes that she just has to do a load of homework, so he lets the girl be for the next couple hours. But as the clock is pushing near dinner time, he begins to worry.

“Sweetheart, I thought about cooking pasta for tonight. Do you wanna help me try Uncle Dave’s new recipe?” He asks at her closed door, respecting her privacy. There is no answer, just a sniffle from the other side. This alarms Spencer. “Sweetheart, may I come in?”

A few seconds pass until a faint “Yes” makes its way to his ears. Inside (Y/N) sits on her bed, her eyes are red from crying. “Oh Sweetheart, don’t be upset. Whatever it is, we can fix it. Tell me, what’s wrong?” The young doctor tries to console her. It’s always more difficult to calm your own family down than any stranger he meets on a case.

“I-it’s stupid. I don’t know why I’m upset over this.” (Y/N) frantically wipes the leftover tears away. “Hey, don’t say that. Your feelings are valid. You can be upset about anything you want, ok? If you don’t want to tell me about it, it’s fine. But I promise you that I’ll value whatever you say.”

The girl nods, finding her composure. “I- At the party we played Spin-The-Bottle and whoever was chosen had to go into the closet with the second one and kiss. I-I was in there with a boy named Tyler, b-but I told him I wasn’t ready. H-he was really sweet about it and respected my reasons. Dad, I’m not old enough and it wouldn’t be anything like I imagined my first kiss would be. But now the whole school or what feels like the whole school makes fun of me a-and I was so embarrassed.”

Spencer can feel her pain. Kids can be worse than professional torturers, he witnessed both first hand. “Oh Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’ll think of something about it. How do you feel about coming with me into the office? The others are missing you, especially Emily. She has a ton of pictures of Sergio she wants to show you. And for tonight we get your favorite take out and watch a movie of your choice, ok?”

(Y/N) smiles at the thought of the pictures she is going to see. “Yes! Can we get pizza and watch Lion King?” Even though it will be the fifth time they watch this movie this month, Spencer is happy to do anything his daughter wants. She has him wrapped around her finger.

So not long after this heartfelt conversation they sit on the sofa in the living room, crying their eyeballs out after Mufasa died. He deserved better.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[queenerdloser]

see my issue is i keep ping-ponging between what i find important in an apartment and that means my parameters for what apartments i like enough to actually apply for keeps changing. like, do i care way more about square footage/space or do i care about how updated and modern it is? do i care about how close it is to my job or is it fine bc i'm hybrid and i'm only there two days a week anyway, so my commute time really doesn't matter as much? do i care i'm still right next to a green area like a park or does it not matter bc i currently live next to a park and i don't really take advantage of that now anyway? how strong is my desire to find a place with an in-unit washer/dryer? do i care that the outside building looks sad and run-down? do i care if the area i'm living in is busy or quiet? how much am i truly willing to spend on rent and what actually will make me comfortable with spending more?

[long scream]

i have to put my own pontificating under the cut bc i talk myself in circles so much i get long lmao

it's just frustratingly hard for me to figure out what matters to me and i feel like the longer my apartment search goes, the less i can figure out my own parameters. like i love more space, but i'm also self-aware enough to realize it will just be me and my cats, so do i REALLY need that much space when it means spending an extra hundred or more on rent. i'd like to live closer to work, but the one building that has availability near there i have mixed feelings on since they've got a high rate for their fiber internet and the tenant pays utilities, so i'd end up with a rent more comparable to a much bigger/newer apartment. PLUS even tho it's close walking distance (yay) it's also weirdly situated so it's about a comparable bus distance - which means in the winter, when i likely wouldn't be walking, there'd be no real bonus to living there. i love living off a park now bc it makes it really easy to be outside when it's nice, but i'm also self-aware enough to realize i'm a homebody and now that i can drive/have a car it'd be fairly easy to get to a green space in my city pretty quickly without living right on it and paying the premium for that.

i'm also like. okay, how much do i care how updated my apartment looks. does it matter if it's kind of dingey and outdated if the rent is cheap enough and everything's like working and servicable? i spend a LOT of time in my apartment bc it's a space i feel the most relaxed, so i want it to be somewhere i enjoy coming home to - not just kind of a place i exist in. can i make it that way even if it doesn't start out that way? arghhhhh.

like i applied to this remodeled church bc i really loved the aesthetic of it and the apartment was new + beautiful + big. but they recently updated their pictures of the unit and looking at it again, i'm noticing stuff i didn't really pick up when i was touring - some like exposed piping and beams i'm not sure about, the layout being a little weird, etc. also since it's a basement apt i'd be on the first floor and that was what initially made me hesitant and makes me hesitant again every time i think about signing the lease... but at the end of the day, i don't think floor matters to me so much either i guess??? they also STILL haven't gotten back to me with an application decision so i have no idea if they're even an option and tbh the length of turnaround on the application makes me kind of wary. i mean, my background check cleared the next day, they have all my info... not really sure what's taking the extra time tbh and it's kind of frustrating to have complete radio silence about it for an entire week when the move-in would be may 1.

and i have another apartment i really liked when i saw it and still kind of want to apply to, but i'm hesitating bc it's in a much busier area than most of the places i went to see and the building itself is kind of eh. like it's a 2nd floor apt which is fine but the only laundry units are like three floors down in the basement and there's only two of them for the whole building, which seemed pretty big? but at the same time, i'm also like, well i could just do what i was already kind of planning to do in my current place, which also has laundry room issues, and buy a little portable washer and go back to dry hanging my clothes like i did in japan which worked just fine for me. it's a bigger place and has a couple of huge closets which feels nice, but it's also largely carpeted and tbh with cats i struggle with carpet so i was hoping to find another hardwood floor unit since it makes cleanup SO much easier. but i've lived with carpets before so i'd manage and i don't know that it's a dealbreaker. also thinking about visits from parents, bc it'd be an area that's further north and harder for them to get to - but do i care, when they visit so rarely? idk! the location is also just busier in general and tbh i prefer quiet/resedential streets. but it's closer to downtown so it'd be really easy to go see shows like i regularly do and literal blocks from three grocery stores, which is very nice.

and the one that's close to work is also nice and updated but it's a higher price for a smaller apartment and i seriously don't like that they have fiber optic, but they have a different one than i use now which is 50 bucks more than i pay now for the same damn service. it's also kind of in a sketchier area, but ALSO really close to downtown and off of the river, which has a huge green area and a park down the road. two blocks from a grocery store, which helps too... if the price was about 100 dollars cheaper or they had the fiber optic company i currently use, i'd probably consider them a top choice tbh but those two points really make me hesitate.

and like. i think i'm spiraling too deep/overanalyzing but moving is a pain and i probably won't want to have to do it again in a year unless the place i choose is That Bad. so i'm going to have to pick a place to live for the next several years and i want to make sure i pick one i'll really like, which is where i think the issue is coming up - so far, aside from the remodeled church (which i am now waffling about lmao) i haven't seen any unit where i've really fallen in love with it or felt an instant spark.

AND as i was typing all of this out in despair i just got a confirmation to go see a HUGE HUGE first floor duplex that's literally two blocks down from where i currently live. it's definitely about a hundred or so out of what i wanted to spend and they weren't clear in the listing about utilities, so it could potentially be priced out for me if a lot of that gets added on, but it's HUGE and all hardwood floors (thank god) and in this area, which i already know and like and has everything i want. so maybe i'll end up falling in love with that one? which then leads me back to maybe the biggest internal struggle i've had with myself, which is how much space can i really justify taking for a price when i'm just one person with cats who doesn't really have visitors that often? but like. i'm planning to buy a house in the future and i wouldn't compromise on space then just bc it feels weird to have an extra bedroom to myself or w/e so why should it matter when it's an apartment????

[long scream]

at this point, i need someone to just pick an apartment for me

[wonwoonlight]

📣: boyfriend!Chan // cont of this // fluff // 800~ words

A/N: ok now that this is the last one, i can finally say the reason why i ended the last one that way was bc i had no idea how to proceed so this was hard to make bc i totally didnt expect to write this to this point HAHAH its okay tho! kinda felt like a challenge lol hope you enjoyed this anons thank you for the request <3

edit: i thought might as well put them here haha [part 1 // part 2 // part 3]

find the rest of requested drabble here

“You guys do realize you’ve taken things too far this time, right?” you ask with a sigh. You don’t mind spending time together with them, you really don’t, but Chan seems like he was really looking forward to this date and you don’t want the day to end with him being upset. “I’m sure he’ll be snappy at you for a few days because of this.”

Soonyoung shrugs nonchalantly, looking at the turtles in the ‘Touch Me!’ area. He stops by to poke the shell softly before answering. “Shouldn’t have made us pay for your meals.

“You guys shouldn’t have followed us to begin with,” you roll your eyes in annoyance. As much as you like these guys, they can take their jokes a bit too far when it comes to their youngest. “Plus, didn’t you say Minghao ended up paying because you both literally forgot your wallet?”

“We’re bored, okay?” Seokmin pouts and then leans down a little to follow Soonyoung as he plays with the turtles. “Plus, we’re kinda curious about what kind of place Chan takes you for a date.”

“You couldn’t have asked like a normal human being?”

“Totally went pass my mind.”

You shake your head in disbelief, thinking about how upset Chan is going to be about this whole thing. “I’m gonna go to the rest room.”

Honestly, you didn’t expect for them to just nod and let you go by yourself. But at this point, you think they’re having too much fun playing with the turtles that they probably forgot they’re supposed to be ‘kidnapping’ you.

Obviously, you make the sensible choice to stray away and look for Chan. You’re just going to think about how to deal with Jeonghan later when it comes to it.

As if the universe is helping you, you catch Minghao on the corner of your eyes, busy with his camera as Jeonghan is visibly whining from behind because Chan probably walks too fast or something. Just then, your boyfriend catches your eyes somehow, and you quickly put your forefinger on your lips to signal him not to say anything before you mouth ‘toilet’ and he subtly nods before running some more that prompts Jeonghan to almost scream at the younger guy.

It hasn’t even been 5 minutes when an out-of-breath Chan appears beside you, and you quickly pull you with him to wherever your feet take you just so you can lose them.

“How did you lose Jeonghan?” you ask once you’re settled on the 2nd floor of the place, sure that it is far enough to take a break. Why did you even need to take a break from your supposed date, you have no idea.

“He went to the vending machine and Minghao’s too busy taking pictures,” he says, leaning forward to take a sip from your drink. He’s never been more glad you’re the type to bring water with you wherever you go. “I’m pretty sure he noticed but he’s too tired to follow me.”

“Did that to himself, didn’t he?” you laugh as you move to place your head on his shoulder. “Should we leave now?”

“I don’t have my phone with me, though?” he huffs in annoyance. “Jeonghan takes it, saying I’d cheat and ask you where you’re at.”

You laugh at this, they’re weirdly careful with that and yet you and Chan didn’t have to work that hard to lose them. “Then we can just go back to my place? I’d tell Wonwoo to text me if they need you to come home quick, you know he’s never really been one to prank me.”

Chan moves to take your hand in his before leaning his head back on top of yours. “I’m really sorry the date turns this way. I really wanted you to enjoy the aquarium.”

“Not your fault,” you reassure him, squeezing his hand to tell him it’s really okay. “Just all the more reason to visit another aquarium, right? We still have a long time to go. Plus, what better way to end a date then cuddling under the blanket while we order chickens, right?”

You can feel him smile against your head before he plants a firm kiss there and then letting go of you to stand up. “A woman after my heart. Let’s go back to your place?”

[19:52] SVT Jeonghan: is maknae home?

[19:53] SVT Tiger: we lost him D:

[19:59] SVT Jihoon: you lost a whole Chan?

[19:59] SVT Jihoon: how much stupid can u be

[20:01] SVT Wonwoo: no he’s not.

[20:01] SVT Wonwoo: but you guys better get home quick bc seungcheol is pissed lolllll.

[20:03] SVT Seokmin: HYUNG IT WASN’T ME WHO WANTED TO EAT STEAK

[20:05] SVT Minghao: just wanna say I paid my own food ^^

[20:59] SVT Mingyu: ^ lol at hao trying to survive alone

[21:00] SVT Mingyu: why is hao the onky one whos retruned tho

[21:12] SVT Tiger: [sent a picture]

[21:12] SVT Tiger: spending the night in seokmin’s family house :D

[wozwaid]

would you do hcs for the soul eater boys realizing their crush on you and telling you?? tysm! :]

YES SOUL EATER REQUESTSSSS

if you dont know, I'm the biggest simp for soul evans so just putting that out there

also all my soul eater fics are crack + fluff fics because these children are fucking crazy

TW: swearing. a lot of swearing. i swear a lot. I'm really sorry its a bad habit I'm working on it ANYWAYS-

LETS GET IT

Soul

- say it with me, everyone.

- not. fucking. cool.

- cool guys don't settle down... right?

- but you obviously would wanna date a cool guy like him... right?

- he’s SO INSECURE

- like should he tell you?

- so he goes to Black Star. 

- you read that correctly ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary pals. Soul Eater Evans asked Black Star for relationship advice.

- he's desperate don’t judge him (plz do tho Maka and Tsubaki haven't stopped laughing)

- so he shows up in a leather jumpsuit (roll with it) and proclaims his love for you at the top of DWMA academy

- nobody could hear him. they all just saw what appeared to be a screaming monkey

- look he's cool and all but he’s also a total idiot.

- he assumes you not responding means it’s a no and he gets DEPRESSED

- but then Maka was like “dipshit they couldn’t hear you”

- SO BACK TO SQUARE ONE!

- he shows up at your door with flowers and a card. he knocks on your door, but when he hears you approaching he drops everything and SPRINTS AWAY.

- so you have these flowers and a card with your name on it on your front porch. inside is a letter saying “hey y/n, you’re really cool an if you wanna hang out some time, meet me at the basketball court tomorrow at 11am.”

awe he did it... kinda.

Black Star

I'm gonna claw his eyes out I swear to god HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT-

*ahem* anyways.

- Black Star... hmm... how do I say this. he has his head up his ass.

- wouldn’t know what romantic feelings were even if they smacked him in the head, but they couldn’t smack him in the head, because his head is stuck up his ass.

- Tsubaki is like “why do you keep challenging y/n? they clearly don’t wanna spar with you right now.”

- and BS is just like “no they do.” and that's the end of the conversation.

- Tsubaki realizes that he has a crush on you, but he’s just too dumb to notice, so she literally tells you for him.

- she’s like “yo, y/n. Black Star is kinda in love with you but he’s too stupid to realize it.”

- and you’re like “sweet ok ill go ask him out.”

- SOOO  you go to Black Star after class and ask him to dinner.

- bad move. you can kiss your savings goodbye, but you might get to kiss Black Star???

- anyways, he’s like “OF COURSE YOU WOULD WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH THE STRONG AND INCREDIBLE BLACK STAR! ILL PICK YOU UP!”

- and you’re like “wait you don’t know where I live-” “YES I DOOOOO SEE YOU AT 8″

- not creepy at all Black Star. not creepy at all.

- he’s freaking the fuck out

- so he shows up at your apartment looking like he just survived Hurricane Maria and then went swimming with sharks but didn’t bring any equipment. remember how he dressed for the episode where they celebrate the founding of DWMA? he looks like that, but somehow worse.

- you take him inside, throw him in your room with a towel and tell him to shower since there’s gel EVERYWHERE

- you guys just end up staying inside, playing videogames!

Death the MAN

- sooooo DTK. my favorite character

- i’m not totally sure how he’d handle it

- I dont think he would handle it tbh

- he’s a genius, but he's FUCKING STUPID

- he decides to shove his feelings into the back of his mind because, as he said, “that’s a problem for future Death the Kid, not me.” Same honey, same.

- but then he sees you getting hit on and PULLS OUT HIS PISTOLS AND FUCKING MURDERS-

- nah he just grabs you and walks away

- ur like “uh hello what’s up?”

- he realizes that he messed up your shirt while dragging you outside.

- a-symmetrical. bad. not good. Death the Kid.exe has stopped working

- and ur like “OH SHIT IS HE DEAD”

- so you take him to the nurse because why not.

- and so there you are, sitting in the nurses office, watching your crush practically bleed out. fun!

- and he says your name in his sleep and you automatically crash

- when he wakes up, he sees that you’re asleep in a chair next to him, so being the LOVELY HUMAN BEING (shinigami? both? who’s DTK’s mom? help?) that he is, he picks you up and lays you down next to him, falling asleep holding onto you

- liz and patty are taking pictures. he’ll never hear the end of it from those two.

Stein

damn what those hands do?

- so we figured out a valuable piece of information

- dr. stein has a heart and it works

-  wanna know how? 

- you were kicking his ass and he got really flustered bc you were sweating and he had DIRTY THOUGHTS-

- so boom. human emotions. stein has those. problem solved. ladies and gentlemen (and non-binary pals), we got him.

- stein doesn’t understand what to do with his feelings for you

- does he... does he remove his heart? will that make it better?

- no oh my god someone please stop him he's actually gonna do it-

- he ends up just telling you face to face with the most expressionless expression you’ve ever seen

- and you’re like “hey um r u ok?”

- AND THEN YOU SEE A TINY BLUSH AND AIWEOJFDAPWOIERFDS AWWWWWW

- marry him. m a r r y  h i m. when stein falls for someone, he falls HARD.

- you’re in it for the long run with him. hope you’re ready to never sleep cuz he’ll perform experiments on you!

Spirit (Death Scythe)

- HOW DO YOU KNOW

- HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF HE ACTUALLY LIKES YOU

- I CAN NOT READ THIS MAN

- he does have very pretty eyes tho

- BUT LIKE ARE WE A THING? IS IT A ONE NIGHT STAND? DO YOU LIKE ME? DO YOU NOT? STOP SPIRIT YOU’RE SCARING THE BABY (that's me. I'm the baby)

- i deadass have no clue what to say. my -3 IQ can’t handle this. good luck homie, this one’s a doosey.

OK IDK WHETHER TO WRITE FOR JUSTIN OR NOT I CANT FIND ANY GIFS AND THAT’S MAKING ME WEIRDLY NERVOUS OK BYE LOVE YOU GUYS